Little Rose Jacket

HAPPY 2012!!!

2012-01-01T23:06:00.000-06:00

It's a new year and I'm ready to set some goals and conquer them! I've taken a long blogging break this fall, but I will be back with an update and my goals for this month in a couple days. Happy New Year!!

Catching Up

2011-09-22T20:59:00.000-05:00

Monday, September 12th I showed up for jury duty. My first jury experience a few years ago involved sitting and WAITING in the jury pool room for an entire week while eight months pregnant. Not wanting to relive that boring experience I was praying that they would call my name as groups of thirty plus headed out the door to various courtrooms. After several groups I heard my name and went skipping out the door book bag in hand. Just in the waiting and walking I made friends with a lovely lady willing to serve but fearing being sequestered since she takes care of a handicapped veteran son overnight. I assured her that I couldn't believe that sort of thing happens that often. Eight hours later, I was phoning my hubby to let him know I'd been assigned jury duty on a sequestered murder case. I may have prayed a little too hard...but I was certainly not going to be bored this time!

What a week! I wish I had pictures, but I didn't take my camera because I was afraid it wasn't allowed. No phones, televisions, computers/internet or outside contact made me think they might not appreciate me snapping photos of every plate of food, or interesting characters in the courthouse, or my fellow jurors including the retired NFL ex-Patriot player and ex-roommate of Tom Brady, or our lovely top secret motel. Security was pretty tight. I had to beg to get a bailiff to accompany me to the treadmill one evening. Boy did I ever need that treadmill. They took really good care of us, and stuffed us with food. Lunches and snacks all day long followed with dinner to nice restaurants (Half Shell and Carrabba's Italian Grill). After all that sitting, the last thing I needed was food, really, but I wasn't alone in enjoying our feasts. I don't know if it was freezing to death in the jury room kept at 55 degrees constantly, or listening so carefully your brain hurts, or trying to balance out the seriousness of the situation with some happiness in food, but something about the entire process made all of us look forward to eating breaks. Maybe it was the mystery in what they would serve. We couldn't talk about the horrific case until it was time to deliberate on the last day. In a way that made the conversation lighter during our breaks. encouraging a little snacking by all to relive the stress.
It was a very short trial, and we found the defendant guilty. The afternoon we deliberated I just kept shaking...reminded me of when I was in labor and I couldn't stop shaking. The gravity of the situation was not lost on me, and even though I was sure in my decision (after a lot of prayer), it was such a sad time for everyone involved. It left me thinking about how our choices affect so many people. More people than we may ever know. Our good choices, and my bad choices. Obviously that defendant ended a life causing some of the deepest pain and consequences to many people. It struck me that even I was affected forever by his choice by the graphic pictures, details, testimonies, and lives I witnessed changed forever.

It is hard to believe I have been home a week now. Our jury group became very close, and I volunteered to hostess a reunion in a few weeks. It was a really nice group of people that I was blessed to serve with. I hit the home turf running by hostessing my son's twelfth birthday party last Friday night. Below are the yahoos that partied nearly all night. A sweet group of boys, but it nearly killed me staying up so late after my week.

Sunday my youngest got his first grade Bible in church. I explained the process to him while I was combing his hair in the mirror earlier that morning, and I couldn't help expressing my sentiments that he is my last baby to get his first grade Bible. He told me not to worry; saying I could "have a LATE baby." I told him that I had news for him.....HE IS THE LATE BABY. He tried to argue the math/spacing with me, but I think I finally broke through his denial and convinced him that it is the truth. It added a little humor to a moment I thought was slightly sad....he keeps me smiling that one. He is the handsome one in the sea of first graders in the very back row in the red striped shirt. MY LATE BABY: a first grader!

Soccer, school, and cross country filled up the rest of this week. Below is my cross country girl. The mom who ran with the coach and team all summer/fall looks like she has lost twenty pounds. Maybe next year I'll try to jog along behind them!

How did my eating survive through this crazy month? NOT WELL. Or maybe you could say too well...in the wrong direction. I came home from jury duty afraid to step on the scale. I told myself after a couple of days I'd be ready. NOPE. I was never ready...finally made myself step on it this morning and my children thought that high pitched sound was our alarm going off. It wasn't pretty. Fall is always a dangerous time for me and food. Really from now until January will be hard. Anybody else find fall/winter harder? I am trying to get a grip....I have several days left in September, and I still have that wedding to go to in October.

Tomorrow I am taking two of my daughters to visit my collage girl. We are going to enjoy a girlie weekend full of movies, shopping and talking....oh and watching her induction into the National Society of Collegiate Scholars on Sunday. Pray for my hubby while he holds down the fort AGAIN. I am blessed to have him! I hope to eat healthy all weekend, and give it my all next week at losing and blogging. Have a wonderful fall weekend!

Back to Blogging Soon

2011-09-12T21:32:00.000-05:00

Last week I was a little under the weather, and this week I am doing my civic duty at the courthouse. My poor hubby is holding down the fort and managing all the sports activities while I am gone. I can't wait to give a full update once I am back!

17 Day Reboot Completed!!

2011-09-01T17:09:00.000-05:00

Good-bye August! I had to post our school calendar just so you could see all our August birthdays. Maybe it will make you a little more sympathetic to why I had a hard time getting with the program the first two weeks! Honestly, I was falling into that trap of trying every morning, and failing by mid-day. After two weeks of that I said ENOUGH. That is where the reboot came in. Motivated by the Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead movie, I decided to nix my cravings in the bud. Guess what? It worked! It was hard. On day four you can observe another birthday cake on the calendar. That was the day I almost caved, and was wonderfully rescued by my hubby. Honestly, I probably owe the success of the 17 day reboot to him. He was really helpful and supportive.

Reboot Pros:
My cravings are GONE. Today I finally feel energized, well, and roaring to tackle the remaining weight. I am eating tons of healthy veggies and fruit (something that goes away when unhealthy habits take over). My little guys ASKED for spinach in their strawberry/banana smoothie today....WOW! I feel very encouraged (instead of discouraged) after making my goal. My skin is still glowing, and I am sleeping like a rock. I lost 15.5 pounds in just 17 days. I know some will criticize me for that, but I needed to see that scale head south.

Reboot Cons:
Drinking juice did get old quickly. Cleaning the juicer got old even quicker. I think the thing I looked forward to the most was a day off from cleaning that juicer! Preparation and cleaning also took a lot of time and energy. That energy tended to make me not cook dinner for the family many of the nights. Today I fixed that by greeting my girls by asking what they wanted for dinner. Tuna noodle casserole is in the oven! COST....need I say more? There aren't any discounts on organic fresh veggies and fruits, and it takes a mountain of them to juice just four cups worth. Exhaustion was my middle name. I never hit that stride of magic energy. I also babied myself and went very light on the exercise while concentrating on my nutrition.

It seems like my cons are longer than my pros, but it was a very needed and profitable reboot. I ended it today with a breakfast berry smoothie with some rice protein powder added. Lunch was half of this gorgeous vegan salad and half a banana. I think I will eat the other half for dinner.

So hello September. Today the boys helped me get our calendar on track. Just look at that blank slate and all the possibilities imaginable for the month.

I have a few short goals for this month:
Lose 7 pounds. Seven because that will bring me to minus 60 pounds; yep, that's right, today I am at minus 53 pounds. I think when I get to minus 60 pounds I might feel brave enough to post actual numbers.

Exercise regularly. I want to build back my exercise and do it consistently.

Journal? I am not sure about this one. I am feeling a little sick of the lesson plan journal form, and may just go back to the regular notebook.

I'm off to pull out that casserole and enjoy a family dinner. Below is a picture of the big guy helping the little guy; it makes me smile. Shortly after I took it I had to send them to separate rooms, but camaraderie is refreshing around here even for a skinny minute!

Tea Time

2011-08-29T15:38:00.000-05:00

TEAVANA is my new favorite store. I love the colors on their wall of tins. I could spend all day wafting every single tin. I really like the taste and results (so far) of the tea also. I do not like the hefty price tag, but what a girl won't do to ~~get skinny~~ be healthy.
What I am currently drinking:
Monkey Picked Oolong. I really like the taste of this. It is a mild tea. It is supposed to be good for weight loss, digestion, skin, and teeth. I started drinking it in July, and noticed a difference with the first cup. It made me feel slightly warm, and very hungry within minutes of consuming it. It also made me even more regular, if you know what I mean. I really do think it keeps my metabolism running a little faster. That said, it does not make me feel jittery or strange. It also lowered my blood sugar levels immediately. I really think part of the reason I maintained my weight in July was this tea.
Golden Monkey Black Tea and Yaun Dynasty Golden Tips Black Tea. This is what they suggested for lowering my cholesterol. It is a harsher tea...almost a little bitter. I am mixing it with my oolong, but when it runs out I don't think I will get more.

I bought the Teavana Perfect Tea Maker. It diffuses the tea and empties right into my cup. I usually drink three 16 ounce mugs a day. Straight up with nothing added. I also reuse the same tea five times to stretch it as long as possible, and to help lesson the caffeine.

My reboot juicing is going well. Today is day 15. I am really looking forward to introducing solid veggies and fruits again on Thursday. REALLY. I do not know if I could EVER do this for 60 days. I am consistently longing for an avocado, so I am guessing maybe this means my body would like a little healthy fat. I will try to post a recap after my juice feast/reboot is over.

Pictures

2011-08-26T14:46:00.000-05:00

I was excited to take pictures, but I really don't like them. Will I ever like pictures of myself again? I do like having 50 pounds gone however, and I feel really motivated to knock out the rest. Below are a few pictures from yesterday, and one comparison picture from February.

I added the close up above so I could show how my skin looks while juicing. Below are two comparisons of me on February 11, 2011 when I had lost 12.5 pounds and yesterday at minus 50 pounds.

I had actually been on the Clean program for 10 days when that awful picture was taken. I tried to locate one from January, but will have to keep digging. As puffy as I am in that picture, I know it was even worse in January. Unfortunately, I did a really good job of NOT standing in front of cameras. Sadly, I took an entire weeks field trip to Chicago with my youngest daughter and her seventh grade class in January, and while there are lots of pictures, I cannot find one of me with my daughter. NOT ANYMORE. I am so happy to be able to be present with my children and family instead of hiding from history.

Below is my fresh pineapple, mango, peach, apple, and spinach juice. It was too good; a really refreshing and yummy breakfast today.

These pictures make me smile. My beautiful senior and her creative shirt heading off to school today.

Below is an interview with Joe Cross who stars in the movie, Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, and who founded the Join the Reboot website.

HAPPY DANCING HAPPENING HERE

2011-08-25T10:01:00.001-05:00

Minus 50 pounds total on the scale this morning. Smiling and jigging a jog around here! I was thinking yesterday that these last 30 pounds are the fun pounds. Those first 30 pounds were just NOT fun. I had gone up and down in that range a lot these last five years, so you couldn't really tell I looked any different. I know, it is not all about looks, but when I was working so hard looks would have been a great reward. It really wasn't until around minus 40ish pounds that any kind soul noticed I'd done something different. Doing the right thing, and making better choices was really a great daily reward in itself during that time, but it was not as exciting as getting close enough to see the very distant finish line.

These next 30 pounds are motivating and exciting because I just feel so much better, look so much better, and get to begin to enjoy the rewards of the weight loss like smaller and cuter clothes. For the first time last week another mom commented that I certainly did not need to lose 30 more pounds. Ahhh. It made me smile. With my first five babies I never needed to re-lose more than 25 pounds, so when I would complain about losing weight people would always say that polite thing of "you DO NOT need to lose 25 pounds. Where?" With 80 pounds to lose, and even when I got down to 60 or 70 pounds to lose, people would give me a pitiful look or say something like,"You can do it." I know, I was the only one in denial about HOW BIG I really was, but somehow it still shocked me when they never argued even a tiny bit that I should be losing X amount of weight. It was nice to hear someone sound genuinely surprised that I still have 30 more pounds to go because it affirmed my loss so far. Just as I was in denial about how large I had gotten, I seem to be weirdly unsure about if what the scale says matches what I look like now. So it was nice to hear that maybe it does.

I hope to in list my in house photographer Peter and take a few pictures to post of me at minus 50 pounds.

I am still juicing and starting day 11 today. Look at the frothy thick top on that juice! Again it is surprisingly thick. I really feel very good. The amazing thing about 10 days of only veggies and fruit is it really changes my cravings. The Hershey's chocolate bar my son begged for in the store last night honestly did not phase me. Fresh almonds however make me drool, and I am dreaming of an avocado on top of a crunchy veggie salad.

He asked me to take this picture with him drinking from his cup. I have so much help around here.

I'm off to juice with my juicing entourage. I am thinking about getting a Vita Mix. Any of you have one have any advice? My boys who spent 3 hours mesmerized by the Costco Blend Tec man last weekend, and consequently could now go into business themselves, are insisting it is better. I, having previously been enamored by the Costco Vita Mix man, am not convinced. Either way, those cool headset microphones and amazingly thick smoothies that don't fall out of the upside down cup are convincing....I won't even get started on the sorbet or HOT soup. It's a good thing we don't get out much! I'm boogieing off to the kitchen; let the juicing begin.

7 Days of Juicing DONE!!!

2011-08-22T09:43:00.001-05:00

Hello Monday; I'm so glad to see you. This Monday means I have one week, or seven days, or one hundred sixty-eight hours, or ten thousand eighty minutes of juicing done and behind me. Juicing, only juicing, with no mid day clean meal like on the Clean Program is very hard. I did have one blended fruit/veggie smoothie. I did wait until day five to actually read the plan carefully and see that it suggests eating, blending, and juicing only veggies and fruit for five days, followed by five days of juicing, and finished with five days of eating, blending, and juicing. That would be a little easier than jumping straight into only juicing (minus that one smoothie).

Drum roll please.....10 pounds in seven days. Not bad. I know some of you are saying it's not healthy to only juice and lose that quickly, but it works for me. I think I'm sort of a bite the bullet and see results quickly over slower and longer. I realize when I lose quickly it takes diligence to build back my shocked and slowed metabolism, and the total weeks it takes to lose quickly and settle into that weight loss permanently probably equal losing at a normal two pound a week rate. However, two or less pounds a week just drives me crazy, and it is just easier for me to dive in.

A recap of my week: Days 1-3 were hard but slightly fun pulling out the juicer and experimenting. Days 4-5 were the hardest. I don't know if it was the birthday meal or just the days, but I almost gave in at dinner on each day. Days 6-7 were the best days even though we were having some very hard issues with one of our children. It seemed like I finally hit a zone on those two days.

Sunday I got a little juicing cocky and went off the recipe map. It was a very bad idea. I made a gigantic concoction of horrible smelling and tasting juice. Oh it killed me to pour it out, but after gagging down one big old glass I just couldn't handle another. I hate wasting things, so I learned my lesson, and I'm sticking closer to juicing what tastes good today.

Just a few pros and cons from my first week of juicing:

PROS:

SKIN. My skin is amazing. A mother at the football game Friday night said I looked 15 years younger.
At my age one year younger would be worth juicing!

BONDING: I didn't predict this one, but my youngest two boys are having a blast helping me throw things
down the juicer hatch.

HEALTH: I know if my skin looks better my insides must too. Just veggies and fruit is making me glow.

HABITS: I am breaking the bad habits of sugar and processed food that was taking over by the end of my
summer indulging break. Finally I am craving chewing nuts, salads, and fish instead of junk.

RESULTS: Let me be honest, if I didn't see quick results on the scale each morning, my will power for this
would be out the window. It's real pounds, not just water. My clothes are almost falling off,
and I am fitting into jeans I have not worn in seven years.

CONS:

TIRED: I am very tired. I am doing very light to none on exercise.

HARD: I don't know if that is really a con, since hard is probably good for me. Maybe hard on my family is
a con? They have to put up with me complaining about the difficulty.

TIME: It requires a lot of time to shop, chop, drop, and mop. Ha. Translated, shopping, prepping, juicing,
and then cleaning every teeny tiny part of that juicer takes a lot of effort and time. I still have six
people staring at me with that "whats for dinner" look after I clean up the juicer.

PRICEY: It takes a lot of veggies and fruit for a little tiny bit of juice. That price tag goes up higher when
I try to buy organic produce. Right now is not a good time to raise our grocery bill; thank you
sweet hubby supporter for not complaining about my organic produce.

INCONVENIENT: This is an understatement. Three times of more this week I drank lemon water because
it just did not work to juice or take my juice with me.

METABOLISM: I know my metabolism will slow during this juicing. That will be okay if I transition by
eating clean and exercising consistently.

Day 8 begins today. I am at minus 47.5 pounds, so I am just 2.5 pounds away from the minus 50 mark. I am looking forward to that after staying in the same range June and July. I'm off to try peaches and veggies in the juicer!!

Day 4 Rebooting Barely

2011-08-18T22:48:00.000-05:00

I barely made it tonight. It was a close call sort of. Let me back up to this morning. I sent my girls off to school with home made healthy hot egg mac muffin sandwiches and lunches packed with pretty napkins. My favorite thing about packing school lunches is surprising the eaters with seasonal fun napkins.

Anyway, the morning was going well, and after writing a quick blog my juicer helpers and I juiced away. I ended up not using the melon in the picture below.

The fruitier juice is my favorite...of course. All of the juices are frothy and almost thick when they are fresh.

Lunch was a more concentrated veggie juice. I mixed it with just a little of the remaining beet juice and it colored the entire glass red.

After an afternoon volcano experiment and errand running I came home tired, starving, and ready to dive into making my firstborn child's 22nd birthday dinner.

I felt a little whiny and that should have been my first warning sign to rest a second, hydrate, and drink a juice. I was so happy to work in the kitchen I ignored the warning and pressed on. By the time the birthday dinner spread was done and smelling wonderful I was beyond hungry.

Everyone was eating and it all smelled so good. I began waffling internally and externally about how I could eat tonight and get back to juicing in the morning. My family is very supportive, and really cheers me on whether I want to eat or not. With absolutely no pressure from them, the decision making was all mine. It was really hard. I talked myself into and out of eating the regular spread of food a million times. I made it all the way through dinner, and was about to give in at the END of dinner....plate in hand...when my sweet hubby said," If you want to go back to the computer, I'll clean up dinner." MUSIC TO MY EARS. He had very patiently listened to me struggle, and offered to help me escape the clean up temptation. My way of escape handed to me in the package of NO clean up was a sure sign. I got out of there fast...in case the offer disappeared.

It was really hard tonight, but right now I'm so glad I didn't give in. I had some red flags that made me think twice.
Red Flags:
Emotional: I just wanted what I wanted even if it wrecked my long term plan.
Lying to myself: I told myself I could eat tonight and get back to my plan in the morning.
Unhealthy: What I was desiring was not a healthy fresh salad, but lots of very fattening and sugary foods. (Special birthday requested food like taco dip, chips, steak, tator tots, green bean casserole, jello salad desserts etc.)

My rational self did a good job reasoning with my unreasonable self, and my sensitive hubby saved the day when I almost gave in. There was a very big part of me that knew if I gave in tonight I wasn't touching that juicer tomorrow. I wasn't really wanting to just eat a few healthy things with my family. When I was waffling about what to do, I really wanted to eat the poorest choices and lots of them. That was another sign that I knew meant it wasn't time to stop my plan.

Tonight made me wonder if I can make it another 12 days juicing. I may not be able to. I may reach a point where it might not be the healthier choice to continue. I want to listen to my body and do the healthy thing over the perfection perfect plan thing even if it kills me option. If I stop however, I want it to be with a plan including healthy, clean foods. That wasn't my motive tonight, so it wasn't time to quit the plan.

So I survived rebooting day four barely, and I am hoping day five is easier.

All that said I feel very pitiful about ever complaining when I read about the struggles Lucy and her family are going through. She is a beautiful six year old girl struggling with cancer, and her mom is so burdened with the heartbreaking journey of Lucy and missing her two other children and family at home. I leave you their blog link in case you would like to join me in praying for them. http://erikandkatekrull.blogspot.com/

Reboot Day 3

2011-08-18T07:51:00.000-05:00

Yesterday (Wednesday) was day 3. It was crazy busy, but went really well. I started the morning off juicing a fruitier combo of grapefruit, mango, lime, blueberry, and spinach. It was delicious.

After breakfast I loaded up the counter with mainly veggies and four apples, and with the help of my juicing buddies juiced the ~~night~~ morning away. Well not really the whole morning, because the textbooks were waiting.

My youngest juicer helper cannot wait to wake up each morning to see what he is going to help push down the juicer hatch. He is fascinated with the process (not so much the product). He's a juice developer in the making.

All those veggies and fruit made this juice below. No beets this time!

My husband and I spent the evening watching our oldest graduate from EMT school and enjoyed taking him to dinner. He picked Red Robin, and although I am a fan of their onion ring tower and fries and burgers and salads and.......well, I enjoyed three big refills of lemon water and the nice company. I let my hubby sacrifice and eat with my son. He does things like that for me. :)

I'm off to juice for day 4. It's my oldest child's birthday today....the big 22. He's got a dinner menu request that is five miles long, so I will be baking/mixing/cooking up a storm.

Oh..one more thought...I got home last night at the end of day three and looked in the mirror and wondered if my face was losing weight. I then realized it is just my skin. It already looks smoother and tighter by day three. When I see my biggest organ looking 100 percent better in just three days, I always wonder what my inside organs are doing after three days. This is a fun experiment to do just to see what your skin does in such a short time!

Reboot Day 2

2011-08-16T20:11:00.000-05:00

My big jug of juice for today: spinach, carrots, 4 big beets, lemon, ginger, broccoli, and apples. My hubby and I started out with a morning smoothie of organic berries, avocado, spinach, agave, cinnamon, and coconut milk. The rest of today has been lemon water and this juice.

The beets give it a gorgeous color. Well that is a matter of opinion, because the people younger than me eating out of my refrigerator think it looks SCARY. The same people that will eat anything that color if it comes in a bear shape out of a candy package. Choosing the veggie juicing diet over the Twinkies diet cuts way down on fighting over food in the kitchen.

It feels really good to have 2 successful days behind me. I read this article written by Joe Cross (the man from the movie I blogged about), and he said he lost 100 pounds in 130 days. He juiced the first 60 days and ate veggies, fruit, legumes, and nuts the next 70 days. He not only lost weight but the healthy eating cured a skin disease he had. It is an amazing story. I hope each time I spend several weeks eating fruits and veggies it strengthens my healthy eating desires and habits, so that maybe someday I will eat well more than I eat poorly.

Rebooting

2011-08-15T20:28:00.000-05:00

It's time for me to reboot. At least that is what they call it at Reboot Your Life. I finally watched the movie Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead that I blogged about here in March. I've been trying to talk myself into doing ~~something drastic~~ another Clean Program cleanse since June, and decided I needed some inspiration. It was just what I needed complete with video interviews of people in my city!

I did alright at maintaining my 42 pound weight loss all summer. BUT WAIT, I am not supposed to be maintaining at all. Even though I told myself I was enjoying a small break, learning how to navigate maintaining in case I ever get to maintenance land and want a head start, and building up my metabolism, all of that seemed reasonable for a short amount of time, until that time extended through the entire summer. Shockingly, August is almost half over. Suddenly I am beginning to feel that familiar hopelessness of the days, weeks, and months flying by while my scale stays the same...or goes up. Somehow I started playing that game of eat what I want today and Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday I'm on board with the plan to knock off the remaining pounds.

I confess my choice in food even progressively declined, to the drastic point of polishing off birthday party cake, chips, goodies, and Peanut M & Ms. The latter of that list which became a handful here and a handful there indulgence this last week. I don't look good, and I don't feel good. Worse than that my spirit feels defeated.

I am sad, worried, and discouraged in some other areas of my life. There is a lot happening that is hard, tough, and not like I want it to be. There is always something in life that is hard or disappointing. Medicating my emotions with food will not better the situation. The ONE thing I can control is what I put in my mouth. THANK GOODNESS. Really I am thankful for that, and I should be. I don't have any physical issues right now that dictate what I put into my mouth, or don't let me eat certain foods. In a world where there is so much I would like to change today and cannot, I need to embrace what I can change.

Remedy? I need to put down the sugar and step away from the party leftovers. I need to stop starting/failing and start doing/following through. The movie last night was just the inspiration I needed to give me a push in the right direction. So I decided for my hubby and me (lucky for him, ha) to jump head first into juicing today.

Out came the juicer and every vegetable and fruit in the house. I was hoping to fill up my 128 ounce jug for the day....giving us each 64 ounces of fresh juice for day 1. Wow. It takes a LOT of veggies and fruit to fill up that jug. What veggies I had on hand, and I had a lot on hand, only made 80 ounces of yummy juice.

GOLD, VEGGIE GOLD. 80 ounces of apples, spinach, carrots, broccoli, lemon, melon, ginger, and 1 tomato. It is really filling and really good. It also gets things moving if you know what I mean.

Good and frothy. I hope to reboot through juicing and raw food smoothies the days remaining in August 2011. That's 16 counting today. I need to for my physical and mental health. This is something I considered doing in June, and I regret that I didn't. I do not want to get to November wishing I had done this in August.

UPDATE: I started this blog earlier today, and it's almost bedtime and I accomplished Day 1 of juicing raw foods only!! It feels really good to have a successful day after many failures this summer. I hope and pray I make it through the next 15! I plan to blog my progress!

It's My Birthday and I'll Cry If I Want To

2011-08-06T21:45:00.000-05:00

Only I really don't want to. It's been a fantastically fast birthday week. August reigns as our heaviest family birthday month with birthdays on the 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, and 18th. I've checked the box on the first four...one more to go this month.
We started our busy week out last Friday celebrating my youngest's birthday a week early. He turned the big 7.

There he is with his dramatic pause making his wish.

The next morning we all woke up and drug a trailer across the state to move my oldest girlie back to school. I'm so proud of her, she's enjoying RA training this week.

Oh to long car trips with eight people in the vehicle. Behold my sleeping beauties.

Behold my singing beauties.

Oh I LOVE my Sea Bands. Best purchase ever. Instant cure for motion sickness. I can read in the car now. Yay! Thank you Laura for educating me on these! Seriously, my 11 year old wore them to the amusement park and DID NOT throw up for the first time after riding rides.

Unloading.

A little toasty weather for moving day!

After we spent two nights moving our daughter, we dropped off our rental trailer, hitched up our hitch haul, backed our hitch haul into another vehicle, bought another hitch haul, and after assembling it traveled on to Chattanooga. Here we left our two youngest for the week to ~~torture their Aunt~~ hang out with their cousins.

After a tour of UTC for daughters 2 and 3, and a stop for dinner at the Cheescake Factory in Nashville (it is birthday week you know), the rest of us arrived home very early Tuesday morning. Tuesday August 2, the day this pretty daughter turned 16. We couldn't let that pass us by (even though her party was ahead on Friday), and frankly my husband and I were feeling a little too FREE with those crazy youngest ones gone, so we headed to dinner and double feature movies. Seriously, I don't think I've stayed that late at the movies since my pre-children days.

Again, feeling the freedom and possibly suffering from a little heat stroke, my hubby and I headed out ALONE Wednesday evening to Bonefish grill and a movie. We didn't do any type of vacation this year, and I think maybe we just enjoyed a little staycation. By Thursday night I said enough already though because I was getting ready to hostess the big SWEET SIXTEEN BASH for my cutie on Friday.
I love a party!

Purple and Blue...Whoo Hoo.

Deliciousness.

Yum.

Sweet Seesters.

So excited from the partay I stayed up way to late, and after less than five hours of sleep my man and I drove almost eight hours round trip today to pick up those two youngest boys we were missing. Well, he drove and I (wearing my sea bands) talked his ears off...it is my birthday and I can talk if I want to!

So whew. What a week!!!!! I did pretty well on the calories, and was happy to see me sticking at minus 41 pounds total still on the scale yesterday morning. HOWEVER, today was a total eating disaster. This has all been fun, but I am ready to jump into our fall schedule this week. I plan to start in earnest recording, reporting, and losing again beginning this Tuesday. My goal is to get to a regular BMI by November. Now I'm off to rest my tired eyelids. What a fun and busy summer it's been! God is good...all the time!

July is Passing Me By

2011-07-29T20:34:00.001-05:00

I cannot believe this is the last weekend of July. This month has been a little crazy...lots of fun, sun, company, and not a lot of projects or serious stuff. I waited all winter to enjoy summer, and I think I accomplished that this month.
There was lots of:

EATING AT THIS PLACE and PARTYING WITH COMPANY.

A TRIP DOWNTOWN FOR FIREWORKS ON MUD ISLAND.

ONE BEAUTIFUL GIRLIE POSING FOR HER SENIOR PICTURES.

KIDDOS GOING TO CAMP.

KIDDOS COMING HOME FROM CAMP.

LATE NIGHT BAKING EXPERIMENTS ASKING FOR MY PARTICIPATION IN GUESSING THE INGREDIENTS.

MORE COMPANY INSPIRING ANOTHER TRIP TO THIS PLACE.

FOLLOWED BY THIS PLACE.

A FEW BIRTHDAY PRESENTS FOR MY DAD. WE WANT HIM TO REPRESENT TENNESSEE WELL IN ILLINOIS!

I DISCOVERED THIS PLACE...A BLOG TO EXPLAIN COMING SOON!

MISSION TRIPS.

LATE NIGHT FAMILY POOL PARTIES.

AWARD PROGRAMS.

DOCTOR CHECK-UPS.

GIRLS NIGHTS OUT.

AND THAT'S JUST A SMIDGEN OF MY JULY.
IT WAS GLORIOUS.
IT WAS GRAND.
IT WAS EVERYTHING I'D DREAMED OF IN JANUARY.
I LOVE YOU JULY.

While I was doing all of those July/summery kind of things I took a little break from blogging. I took a little break from jotting down every nibble too. Which led to more and more nibbles. I am happy to report that I am still holding strong; weighing in at minus 41.5 pounds total this morning. I seem to have parked around the minus 42 pound mark. Considering all the company, partying, and nibbles I am happy with that. I'm not happy with staying there forever though. In fact, staying there for two months is starting to feel dangerous. It's not where I should be or want to be, so I am back to the grind. August is my month to kick it back into gear! I figure I only have three months left to lose this year before I buckle down during the two last holiday months and hold on for dear life during the crazy eating holiday roller coaster. Those last two months my dream will be to maintain.
So this coming week I plan to be back recording my progress and blogging regularly. I have 22 pounds until I hit the NORMAL BMI range. I want to reach that goal before November.
So here's to August, getting back into a routine in all areas, and getting to my next goal!!!

Update and Mini Version Week 20 Results

2011-06-30T00:16:00.000-05:00

A little of what I have been doing lately besides sitting at the pool reading while my boys swam. Friday night we had a big patriotic cookout in honor of my daughter's "friend" getting his USA citizenship.

We brought out a little bit of our 4th of July decorations to help us celebrate.

Saturday my husband and I walked out the door with our two youngest boys to head to the gym to workout and swim. My excitement over working out with my man in the upstairs area faded quickly when we were greeted with signs on the entrance announcing (reminding those of us with short memories like moi) the pirate pool day. Of course we couldn't miss a minute of Pirate Pool day, so we skipped our workout and headed out to partake of the festivities. Whoever thought face painted black pirate patches at a pool was an intelligent idea needs a new career other than Pirate Pool Planning for sure.

Sunday was a wonderful day packed to the brim. My little guy was baptized. He was so excited.

After our celebration lunch I crashed for a quick nap, and we all piled in the car for a patriotic concert and fireworks at our church. I did not bake or partake of that lovely cake, and I may or may not have had one of the star spangled banner brownies someone else brought.

Tuesday evening we hosted a cookout for my husbands family and his visiting relatives from California. This Friday my brothers family arrives for a fun weekend, followed by my parents next week. Below is our cookout Tuesday.

Above is my gang missing one daughter who is suffering at camp at the beach in Florida.

Summer is kicking my diet it seems. At least that is what I wanted to whine about. But WAIT...summer is what I have been dreaming about. Everything is better in summer right? I lived all the dreary January through March dreaming of hot summer days, sunshine galore, never opening a textbook, and free hours to exercise my pounds away. To some degree all that is true and more, but summer is also way busier than I remembered. Adding the pool hours in is lovely for my recreational reading and child entertainment, but annihilating my projects (aka cleaning out closets etc).

I refuse to blame summer. After all, after summer comes our birthday month of August. Five of our birthdays in one month is always a lot of cake and celebrating. Fall follows August and always brings that crisp air awakening my sleeping baking giant. The baking begins and escalates until the holidays are over, and all that's left is me, my additional poundage, and my date with the scale on January first. What does all this mean? I have a four month shot to lose weight every year? January through April is all I have?

NO. I need to stop blaming the season, the month, the holiday, the friends, the children, the hubby, the Kroger bakery that marks down the sugary junk, the lady that frowns at me in the library, and the car that drives insanely slow in front of me. LIFE is LIFE. All of this is life. So this month has been busy. It has been a really fun and wonderful kind of busy. I've got to learn to have fun and eat healthy. I've got to learn to be frustrated, sad, lonely, and happy while I eat healthy. I've got to learn to exercise regularly and eat correctly no matter what month, week, day, hour, or minute of life I am in.

This week I did not lose any weight. I did not gain any either, but maintenance is not my goal at this point. I am still at a total loss of minus 42 pounds. That is what I started this month at. I think I enjoyed June a little too much and didn't stick to my mission.

I'm going to take a week or two off from all my regular stats (blood sugar etc). I'll post a picture of my pitiful journal this week. I didn't record my food for five days which (shocker) led me to not weigh myself for four days. Now that is a scary and slippery slope that I do not want to continue, so this week my goal is to journal my food daily, and weigh daily.

I finished my study tonight with a support group watching the Made To Crave videos. It was really good, very inspiring, and I can't wait to share some of her thoughts.

Extreme Makeover

2011-06-23T10:56:00.000-05:00

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE....no more....I feel like I've been to the eye doctor. Confession: we are terrible dog groomers. Every time I bring my Lhasa Apso home from the groomer I vow to bathe and brush her regularly. Several weeks/months later I drive my failed project back to the groomer and ask for a puppy cut. This time I decided the summer heat called for a complete shave. My children are still not speaking to me. They are lamenting her gone locks and pretty ears and muzzle. So I am vowing AGAIN to bathe and comb Macie once she had some hair to bathe and comb. I figure December will be a little cold for an entire shave down.

She is too tired for any more modeling, and so glad to be home.

On the diet front still struggling this week even though I know I have one week left in June to give it my all and pull off a little loss. Ever done this?: Shopped early at Kroger yesterday and found a boatload of tantalizing unhealthy bakery goods on sale for one dollar each. One dollar! Four dollar cinnamon rolls for a dollar, and my baby loves them. Four dollar blueberry scones for....you know...one dollar. As par for the course we had teenage guests at the house, and I rationalized buying junk for the teens. I know, no one at any age needs sugary junk. Anyway, the question is not did you every buy junk, but did you ever buy junk, rationalize it was for everyone else (and honestly meant it of course), was determined you could handle the temptation of the junk at home on the counter, and then found yourself with your face in the junk? I thought I was strong enough, and found myself eating a cinnamon roll at lunch and a blueberry scone for a late night snack. Ugh.

The scale was actually down this morning...oh scale I will never figure you out. But it is not all about the scale, and my blood sugar numbers were up a little. My joints are achy, and my head hurts from the sugar. So I am not letting myself buy junk any more. There are times when I'm in the zone, but I never know when that zone might be weak. I also realize I need to feed my family more responsibly than bakery items.

I am realizing that eating, cooking, and baking the way I grew up is really not what I should continue today. This is something I'm going to need to work through and figure out BEFORE fall weather hits and I want to bake and cook like a crazy woman.

I'm off to move my body cleaning this house. The boyfriend arrives today, and the siblings are all sharpening their inquisition techniques. Oh the joys of having 6 siblings....I thought having one brother was a handful! Don't let that sweet smile in that picture below fool you....he would and will kill you over the tv clicker. (And in the pre-clicker days, Mr. Wrestler did a mad body slam if you got to close to that tv dial button. Yes, I lived in the day before the invention of the clicker.) I still love you little bro. :)

Week 19 Results

2011-06-21T22:25:00.000-05:00

Last week my youngest daughter, my baby girl, was too busy at camp to text or call home. She was preoccupied with representing her blue team from head to toe and other important camp things. She came home Friday night, threw her stuffed suitcase in the laundry room, and slept for five days straight. I hope she comes out of her shell a little more for camp next year.

Father's Day was relaxing and special. I was actually not feeling well, so my sweet hubby grilled lunch for our tribe. That is just one of the many examples of why he is such a fantastic dad. This little guy shared an important decision he had previously made at home, at church, and that was exciting. Nothing like a little guy dressed in his Sunday best.

I warned my youngest that this is the last week of his three week VBS summer tour. Mr. Optimist assured me that there might be another VBS out there somewhere. He may be my most social child yet, and as you saw from Miss Blue Team, it runs in the family.

This last week we also joined the local library summer reading program, swam in the gym pool a lot, and did not clean the house a lot. This Friday we are hosting a cookout in honor of my oldest daughter's boyfriend attaining his USA citizenship. So, let the cleaning begin; let it begin soon please!

In the eating healthy arena I continue to play with fire, dance on the edge of the slippery slope, and run fast toward the tornado. (My 11 year old suggested that last one. All the spring storm warnings must have made a lasting impression on him.) I'm still at a total loss of 42 pounds. I ended May at a loss of minus 42 pounds. If a miracle doesn't happen I am going to end June on the same note. I have been trying to tell myself that maybe I just needed a month to maintain. A healthy month of maintaining would be okay. Maybe even a necessary part of the process. But my unhealthy nibbling isn't okay, and it is escalating into full servings of dessert/sugar, and I confess I am veering away from the clean eating path. I have done this before during this last six years, and it usually means I am headed for disaster.

I like eating healthy. I like feeling healthy and strong. I like smooth skin and smaller sizes. I like looking forward to the morning scale. I like feeling successful when I'm falling asleep at night. I like zipping up my shorts without sucking in my breath and praying the button doesn't pop.

There's A LOT of things I like about living healthy, and A LOT I don't like about gaining all my weight back and living in defeat. Enough stalling and playing around with sugar. It's not nearly as fun as peace feels. So please say a prayer for me as I AGAIN focus and get back to losing and saying no to sugar.

WEEK 19 RESULTS

Fasting Blood Sugar for 6/14 through 6/20
95
89
97
95
98
99
102
These results show that my body does not process refined carbohydrates well at all. My goal this week is to get back to some 80 ranges.

Morning Blood Pressure for 6/14 through 6/20
99/62
97/64
106/67
94/65
95/65
100/65
100/67
These morning numbers are also starting to creep up a little.

Dreaded Scale Numbers for 6/15 through 6/21
-0
-1.0
-0
-0
-0
-0.5
-0.5
So this week I lost 2 pounds bringing my total loss back to minus 42. (I lost 2 of the 3 pounds I had gained last week, so I still need to lose 1 more of them!) I would really like to lose something this week so I can have a loss during the month of June. I cannot believe there are only nine days left in June!

Exercise for 6/14 through 6/20
3 miles/ ?34ish? elliptical at gym forgot to write time down
None. Did personal profile at gym though.
3 miles/ outside 50.45 min. and upper body workout
3/3 miles/outside 51.45 min.
None.
Rest day/ Father's Day!
3.8 miles/ 46 min. elliptical and lower body workout

My writing in my journal gets messier and sloppier when I'm not proud of what I have to record. I also didn't even write down my food on Father's Day. I also don't know if every nibble made it to my journal. That's the problem (or one of the many problems) with nibbling....my brain tends to forget it even if my hips don't. So getting busy to see if I can produce a little teeny tiny loss for the month of June! I know it should not all be about the scale, but in this case the scale is a pretty honest indicator of my increasing refined carb intake for these last few weeks.

Learning to Say No to ANTS

2011-06-18T15:05:00.000-05:00

Back to one of my favorite books, The Amen Solution: The Brain Healthy Way to Lose Weight and Keep It Off by Dr. Daniel G. Amen.

Chapter 8: Kill the ANTS is possibly my favorite chapter. ANTS stand for Automatic Negative Thoughts, and Dr. Amen says we need to "develope your internal anteater". He also says ants "leave you feeling powerless," and he says "ants make you fat, unhappy, and stupid." He lists ten ants, and the last two: blame and denial, he says are the most dangerous. He encourages honest thinking to overcome our bad ant habits. He says to write down the ANT, the type of ANT it is (from his list of 10), and how to Kill the ANT. He also quoted four questions Byron Katie asks when confronting a thought.

Let me back up a second. When I started reading this chapter I was supposed to be outside walking. I just didn't feel the groove for exercising, and had decided to sit down and read instead. As I read about killing negative thoughts I decided to apply those four questions by Byron Katie. They were:

Is it true?
Can I absolutely know its true?
How do I react when I think that thought?
How would I be without the thought?

My thought I applied was: I DO NOT WANT TO EXERCISE.

Is it true? No. I actually do feel great when I exercise.
No, I can't absolutely know it's true because sometimes I love exercising.
I feel lazy, sad, tired, hopeless, and anxious when I think that thought.
I will be more hopeful, happy, energetic, planning, and ready without that thought.

Immediately after writing down those thoughts I felt completely different about exercising. I actually wanted to get up, strap on my polar monitor, and hit the pavement. I was surprised about how my attitude and mind felt so much lighter and better, like a weight had been lifted.

Another example: My crew was leaving a wonderful day of Camp Outrageous last week and I heard cousin Seth ( 10 years old) saying he "hated his new school" and he "hated America because it is so big." (He just moved here from his birthplace of South Africa six months ago. Lots of changes for this little person.) I asked him if Aunt Brenda could teach him something. He said sure. I told him about the ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts), and how we need to try to stamp them out (before they take over), but that we also need to replace them with something positive and good. His big eyes looked like they were thinking, and I asked him if there was anything he LIKED about his new school. What transpired was amazing. He took a deep breath, his shoulders straightened upward, and his voice raised a little higher as he said," Well, I do like that they do......... at my new school." He said a few more positive things while I gave him my full attention, and his entire demeanor changed for the better by the time he finished. His attitude changed his entire physical position...his posture and his voice. Our brains are such powerful tools.

So I am trying to manage my ANTS better. My children are hearing a lot about ANTS. I've even asked my daughter the artist to make me a NO ANTS painting to put in the kitchen. If any of you are ANT challenged like me, I highly recommend checking out his book at your local library like I did and reading this chapter.

One more thing he mentioned was the formula HALT. Don't get too:

Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

I actually just blew HALT this morning. I ran out to the gym pool without eating breakfast, and after four hours of the heat and sunshine I got a little too hungry and tired! Every day is a learning experience for sure. Oh, but speaking of the pool, my boys and I arrived one hour before children were allowed to swim (thanks to me not paying attention). I knew something was up when we arrived to find 40 older women doing water aerobics and not a child in sight. It could have been a recipe for ANT disaster, but we actually enjoyed hanging out on the lounge chairs visiting and reading out loud together. The rest of our swim time was delightful because we didn't let any negative thoughts from our long wait invade and ruin our day.

Now I need to apply the ANTS philosophy to my bad attitude about cleaning my house! Working on killing the automatic negative house cleaning thoughts...they are pretty stubborn though.

Staycation VBS Style

2011-06-17T13:27:00.000-05:00

Who needs expensive vacations when you can visit the Amazon Jungle (week one VBS), the Big Apple (week two VBS), and the Big Beach Bash (week three VBS next week)! My two youngest are having a blast. This is their first year to go to more than one week of VBS, and I'm thinking it might become a tradition. Yesterday was big, bad, and bold hair day as you can see above. They had a blast before they even walked out the door.

My boys spend a lot of time with me (I teach them until middle school usually), and yesterday my Peter asked me what I did while they were gone each day. After I told him he said, "Pretty much what you do while we are here." Pretty much. Actually I am shocked at how time flies and I manage to get nothing done.

When I was younger and my children were little I had a neighbor who complained about how she never got anything done. In fact, she was really bad about starting projects and never finishing them. For instance she tore half her kitchen wall paper down and took many months to complete the job while staring at half torn down wallpaper. She took her kitchen cabinets off to paint them, and you guessed it, took many months to complete the project. She also needed to lose fifty plus pounds, and talked a lot about wishing she would. We were friends, and I couldn't help but observe these things since she discussed them and I saw them almost daily. Back then, over 14 years ago, I was somewhat driven and couldn't relate to why she didn't do what she wanted to do.

Fast forward 14 years to a tired and less driven me. I cannot criticize her because I have projects waiting on me that are not half done because they aren't even started. I wish there was a pill for motivation. Traditionally the week after I teach VBS is a rest week, but after this weekend I need to kick things up a notch or two. For instance my 8 AM alarm clock setting should probably ratchet down an hour or more. During the school year it is 6:30 AM, and it's so tempting to sleep later in the summer. In my forties I have had a harder time getting my get going mojo going. Anyone else? Once in a while I have a day where I bounce out of bed ready to accomplish a boat load of tasks and stay focused for hours. Those days are rare, and remind me of how I used to wake up like that all the time: ready to conquer the world. Not so much world conquering happening around here these days. Again, is this the forties or just me? I guess the only way to work out of this unmotivated slump is to start with getting up earlier. If I start my morning with hot lemon water, The Word, and prayer my day seems to begin much better; like I am in charge of my day, instead of the day running me. Awww it's just so tempting to sleep later in the summer, but I've got to choose better over easier. So my goal for this Monday is to run the day instead of it running me, beginning with my wake up time.

Another thing I have to start doing is list making. Diane at Fit to the Finish had a good blog about this, and it reminded me of what a list maker I used to be. I still am in crunch times like holidays, birthdays, and party hostessing. I need to make more lists on regular days. When I was growing up my mom never even made grocery lists. I was amazed that she just shopped without any plan. Well, fast forward to me now and you'll find me at Kroger with no list...unless of course I'm there getting dinner party supplies. I used to always plan out my meals and their accompanying shopping necessities with lists upon lists. I'm a visual person and visual lists are good for me. I need to face the truth/ reality, and seeing it in lists on paper will help me.

So my two goals for the next week are lowering my alarm clock and starting some tangible lists. Of course I'll need to get up when the alarm goes off and actually tackle those lists, but starting a plan gives me hope that my get going mojo will get going. I don't want to get to August, back to school time, and not have anything accomplished over the summer. I think all of this will help in my healthy journey too because my get going mojo affects everything. What gets you going and keeps you focused on accomplishing your goals?

Painless Personal Profile Accomplished

2011-06-15T15:23:00.002-05:00

Food == Fun....NOT SO, NO, NO, NO. After I picked up Robin and his brother Peter Pan from a nearby VBS (it was super hero day, and yes this is their second VBS which makes me mother of the year- not, but they are loving it), Robin announced that he wanted to go directly to Sonic to use his free ice cream coupon from VBS. I started thinking what "FUN" that would be; lunch on a hot summer day with my boys at the drive in. Then I reminded myself that food is not fun; at least I need to break that mental attitude in my life. Food for me needs to be nourishment and fuel. I need to find fun in living: snapping pictures of Robin in full dramatic poses,hugging my hubby in the kitchen, pushing my grocery cart with strong healthy legs, feeling the hot sunshine on my face, listening to the afternoon shower out my window, and even getting my not so stellar personal profile results. FUN.

I am home with my Life Time Fitness Polar Body Age four page personal profile. I only weighed two more pounds on their scale in clothing and shoes (and water), so I think my scale is very accurate. I'll give you the rundown below.

Body Mass Index: 28.1 falling into the overwight level of 25-29.9.
Cardiovascular-Max V02: 31.5 this fell in the Moderate level of 28-31.
Bicep Strength: 55 falling in the average level of 37-55.
Sit and Reach: 8.5 falling in the lowest level of POOR 0-22. Really poor actually!
Body Composition (FAT): 35.2% OUCH!! falling into the HIGH category 30.1- 35.0. Really a little into the edge of VERY HIGH.
Overall Fitness: 44 falling into the average range of 41-60....barely falling into that range. Good starts at 61 and excellent starts at 81.

My body age was 53 compared to my chronological age of 46...OUCH! They say I have an "Obtainable Body Age" of 41. That sounds like a challenge!! They say I need to improve my body composition, flexibility, strength, and cardiovascular V02 scores to improve my Body Age. They say I need to lose 25 pounds to be in the normal BMI range and decrease my Fat Mass to 33 from 58. The program says my BMR is 1503 calories a day (the calories I burn just living).

The trainer, Neil, said I have upper cross syndrome and some lower cross syndrome. I totally agree. My posture is awful, and I have two herniated neck disks that flare up routinely. He said he will help me develop a strength training regime that will strengthen my upper and lower back. I need endurance in those areas to support my bad spine. I can hardly keep my shoulders back/up without wanting to let them sag within 60 seconds. When I do my upper body exercises at home the part I hate the most is my shoulders and back exercises, and I need them the most!

My body fat is very high and I didn't need a program to tell me that; I've got very big mirrors in my bathroom that are doing a fine job at a cheaper rate. BUT the flexibility was worse than I wanted to admit. POOR...the lowest category. I am so stiff, and I don't like feeling like I'm 85 already. The trainer suggested four lessons of one on one Pilates, and then two group Pilates classes a week for a few months.

He, Mr. Neil, also suggested I do the Metabolic Tests that measure my Cardio point and my Calorie point. He said these will tell me my exact basal metabolic rate and my cardiovascular level so I will know how to stay in my proper training zones helping me get the most out of my workout. Getting the most out of my workout will help me BURN MORE FAT....music to my ears.

Of course none of this is free. I am beginning to wonder what is free for our hefty monthly family fee. I would like to try the pilates for my flexibility issues, and I would love to do the tests just for their data. I love data.
Maybe I can count this as my early birthday present for the next ten birthdays???

Oh and can you guess what tomorrows VBS theme is? Yesterday was tacky day followed by hero day today.

Big, bold, and bad hair day. Yes, to help us out, the nice kindergarten teacher even sent home green hair paint in Robin's bag, and as we were pulling onto our street I heard this strange hissing sound behind me as Robin said,"I don't see the green in your hair Peter."

Tuesday Results

2011-06-14T23:25:00.000-05:00

My daughter's lunch plate above minus the tiny piece of chicken she had on the side. Maybe a little more lunches like her and a lot less twix trifle and I might have better Tuesday results next week. My weigh in was horrendous.....ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS. Overall though my week was really fantastic. I enjoyed making memories with my boys and their cousins, loved Camp Outrageous, and ended the week with a wonderful summer night date night with my handsome Camp Outrageous technical supporter (thank you honey for printing all those pictures).

I could have, and should have eaten like a sane person in a clean manner; when I stepped on that dreaded scale this morning I certainly wished I had. I am such an emotional eater. I think I celebrate with food as much as I use it to medicate sadness. Thus why during the happy month of December I always gain weight. Last week I felt a lot of pressure to make the week happy for my boys and their visiting cousins, organized and delightful for my supportive and wonderful Camp Outrageous workers, and personally special for my 40 Camp Outrageous students. It was a good pressure, but still weighed on me. As the week started to come to a successful end I felt a great feeling of relief and pure exhaustion. As the week came to an end my nibbling and munching accelerated.

Saturday night Terry and I celebrated with a date night dinner and a movie. We tried a Mediterranean restaurant; it was delicious and somewhat healthy. The owner was just too nice however. He suggested our selections and we complied right down to the "special tea" that was delicious but full of honey. He checked on us so much that I felt like I needed to eat every bite. Not that eating everything was a sacrifice considering how yummy it was. If I had ended there I probably would have been okay, but it was a slippery slope that found my spoon in the twix trifle the rest of the weekend.

I didn't make the TT....it mysteriously made its way to my fridge while I was out. Sometimes when I am in the zone (oh zone I love you) I am not even phased by desserts/sugar, but last week I forgot the zone existed. It is totally my fault. I am not going to let my poor food choices overshadow the fact that the rest of last week was fantastic. I am thankful for my blessings, and will get my healthy mind and body into gear as I get back on track.

I thought losing 40 plus pounds meant losing it again would be easy. I am realizing that losing the second half may be harder than the first half. Tomorrow I meet with a trainer at the gym (using free joining "bucks"); maybe she will have some insight and help.

WEEK 18 RESULTS

Fasting Blood Sugar for 6/7 through 6/13
85
87
89
86
88
103
99

Morning Blood Pressure for 6/7 through 6/13
92/62
98/64
94/65
97/63
99/57
90/60
102/68

Dreaded Scale Numbers for 6/8 through 6/14
+1
-0
+1
-0.5
too scared to weigh...NOT GOOD!
too scared to weigh....NOT GOOD!
+ 1.5

This week I GAINED 3 pounds bringing my total weight loss to minus 40 pounds. It is never a good sign when I am afraid to weigh. I hope I can lose those 3 pounds this week and get back on track. It seemed like it was so hard to lose 1 pound a week the last few weeks, and now I gained 3 back in one week. UGH. Obviously I have issues with overeating if I can gain 3 pounds in one week. I am amazed by the journeys of some who start losing weight and never miss a week of losing at least something, and they NEVER gain. Any of you out there who lost a lot of weight and had weeks once in a while when you gained? I don't want to yoyo with weight all my life, but I have a ways to go until I conquer this battle.

Exercise for 6/7 through 6/13
None; played in pool for almost 2 hours.
3.0 miles/47.45 min. outside/ upper body
3.0 miles/47.22 min outside
None; CO clean-up day.
3.0 miles/ 35.20 min elliptical
1.2 slow walk outside
3.9 mi/ 46 min. elliptical, lower body

Looking back over my food for this last week I realize it was not good all week. Today was a healthy eating day, and I hope tomorrow will be another one! Maybe that trainer will have some magic to share with me! :)

Still Here. Just in R & R Mode.

2011-06-11T14:55:00.000-05:00

I'm in REST and RECOVERY mode from a fantastic week at our Camp Outrageous combined with playing super Aunt/Mom to four active boys. While I am taking it easy for just a day or two (those dirty bathrooms and summer projects are knocking at my door), I am trying really hard NOT to devour the bakery walnut apple cinnamon bread sitting on our counter. Last night after the Camp Outrageous show, my star struck Aidan went on an autograph extravaganza (pictured above). He wasn't too sure he wanted to get close enough for a picture with Jay Bear.

It was such a wonderful week. Totally worth the lack of exercise and fun size candy bag I succumbed to by the end of the week. Three of my daughters worked with me, and I was so proud of them. They got notes, pictures and lots of hugs from the sweet kids. I couldn't resist posting the sweetest note complete with darling drawings given to my Emma from one thoughtful admirer/friend.

While Emma was receiving her lovely note, I had one small sweet child express to me her biggest compliment. One that I have NEVER heard before. In the noise and confusion of the last few minutes of the last day winding down, and children walking out the door, one excited little girl waved her arms at me to draw me closer to tell me with a beaming smile and big blue eyes that, "YOU look just like my GRANDMA!!!" I, of course, said, "Did you say GRANDMA???" "YES, YES," she said, "JUST LIKE HER, NO REALLY, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH YOU LOOK JUST LIKE HER." She was beaming, and I was pulling my chin up from my belly button and searching for my best poker face. All I can say is I hope that Grandma is the best 46 year old looking grandma ever.

I did try not to go too crazy with out of plan food, and even had a family exercise night Wednesday evening. It was fun. Me, my hubby, and my oldest three children (can I call them that when they are 21, 18, and 17?) all did an in the dark walk/jog/run for 47 minutes. I had bragged on how delightful my humidity light dark time workout the evening before had been, and they all decided to join me the second night. Of course the humidity was full force and the temperature was higher, making them all think I had lost my mind, but we had a lot of fun. Something I would not have enjoyed or encouraged us all to do 43 pounds ago.

Anyway, after my R and R this weekend I plan to be back full force attacking this weight loss and blogging about a few things like ANTS in my HEAD, and how my husband miscalculated the mileage on my walking route causing a few ANTS in my HEAD that I needed to squash. I also never made time to tell a little of my life/background story while I was sharing it at Camp Outrageous. I will try to do that also this summer. I'm off to hit the elliptical before I have a date night with my hubby. I'm leaving this fellow and his monkey friend home.

Tuesday Update ALREADY???

2011-06-07T22:26:00.000-05:00

We invited the cousins who moved to the United States from their homeland of South Africa last December to spend Camp Outrageous (our Vacation Bible School) week with us. My two boys, the two who have four sisters right above them, are in boy heaven. I think the cousins are having a great time, once they got over their disappointment that there would be no zip lines or real tents to sleep in (it is called CAMP Ourtrageous). Our mornings are filled with fun at CO, and in hopes of keeping my house in one piece, our afternoons are spent in the pool. So far my plan is a success; nights two and three found them crashing in the bed. My husband and I were giggling at the snoring coming out of the bedroom adjacent to ours last night.

I am loving teaching our fantastic group of 36 third graders in our awesomely decorated room (cough on the room decoration part). I try, but I won't be winning any room decorating awards in my lifetime! But my main focus is the sweet children and the time I get to spend encouraging and teaching them for one short week. My daughter snapped the photo of me teaching the boys without me knowing it. Horror of horror. When I left the house in my new summer shirt I didn't see this person in the mirror. Honestly, I still see myself at goal weight, and when I see realistic pictures of me with 39 extra pounds on I am still shocked. Reality oh reality, I need a bigger dose of you. Maybe I just need to keep taking pictures.

SIDE VIEW....keep'in it real here thanks to Emma my secret photographer.

One last photo of our entry door Amazon animals; like I said....REALITY is not my strong suit! We like our crocs big and our elephants and palm trees small.

WEEK 17 RESULTS

Fasting Blood Sugar for 5/31 through 6/6
90
88
81
80
70
86
89

Morning Blood Pressure for 5/31 through 6/6
99/63
86/54
94/63
89/61
92/57
95/63
104/60

Dreaded Scale Numbers for 6/1 through 6/7
-0
-0
-1
-0
+1
+0.5
-1.5
So this week continues my minus 1 pound streak AGAIN. Not a habit I want to continue unless the alternative is not losing or gaining...in that case 1 pound a week will get me there eventually in 39ish more weeks. I just really would like for it to be quicker than that. So my total loss so far is 43 pounds. Tonight I let myself have some ice cream...ugh. This fresh air and swimming daily is really making me hungry and munchy. I also haven't taken the time to eat breakfast while leaving the house early for CO. I think that is setting me up for munchies later too. I don't know; this week is a little bit of survival mode. When CO is over and the cousins are gone, I hope to work harder at this again.

Exercise for 5/31 through 6/6
2.13 miles/ 30 min. dreadmill at gym/ upper body workout
None. Pool and heat wore this mama out!
3.8 miles/ 46 min. elliptical/ lower body workout
3.5 miles/46 min. elliptical/ upper body workout
None. Baseball and shopping!
None. Decorated CO room all afternoon!
4.1 miles/ 46 min. elliptical/ lower body workout

Have a great week everyone!! I love summer, but I am trying to figure out my healthy/dieting life and how I work it successfully in this new (and temporary) schedule.

Baby It's Hot Outside

2011-06-05T21:47:00.000-05:00

If only the heat melted pounds I'd be Twiggy right now. This is what my car temperature read yesterday after I survived two final baseball games and a celebration lunch. To be fair it did slowly climb down to 109 degrees. I think the heat must have gotten to my brain because I completely gave in and ate pizza at the luncheon. I had planned to stick to my two plates of salad, but somehow found myself eating pizza and dessert pizza. Below are a few pictures of THING 3 and THING 4 at their final events. Notice the handsome coach eating amongst his players.

It is HOT, and I love the heat over the cold, but it is HOT. One wonderful thing about the heat and weighing 43 pound less: NO SPANX. Seriously, I wore spanx all the time before. I would have been dying in it today. Really, I don't know how I thought that itty bitty spanx was making 43 pounds disappear, but I didn't leave home without it...rain or shine, cold or hot. Summer and the heat is so much better without all my old fat rolls. Not that I don't still have enough left behind, but it's light years better.

In fact, I went shopping for capris for Vacation Bible School (VBS), now called Camp Outrageous (CO). and was amazed at the sizes that fit. Whohoo to the size tens and medium shirts that fit!! I did buy size 12's reluctantly. The cheaper price overruled my vanity. They do go on and off without unbuttoning and unzipping though, so unless major washing shrinkage happens they may not be around very long. What didn't fit well? DRESSES. My apple shape makes my chest and waist still to big to look good in a dress yet. I can't wait to wear dresses again someday.

This week is our church's Camp Outrageous. I love it and look forward to it every year. I can't wait to spend this week with thirty four plus awesome third graders. We invited my husbands seven and nine year old nephews (recently relocated from South Africa to the United States) to join us for the week. My boys are ecstatic. I may or may not have much time for blogging this week. Between CO, nine children, pool time, workout time, husband time, and nap time there may not be much blogging time. I would love your prayers this week! During CO each year I always tell my life story, so the children can see how God worked through and blessed enormously in my entire life. I tell the story slowly ( a little each day) and anonymously telling them the story is my life on the last day. I would like to mirror the story here on my blog this week if I find time to sneak back to my computer.

Half My June Plan Out the Window

2011-06-04T21:22:00.000-05:00

I thought I had a two part plan for the month of June to get my weight loss rolling again. The first part killed the second part, or maybe summer killed the second part, or maybe I killed the second part...but the second part isn't going to happen; not in June anyway.
The first part of my plan involves joining this place (below). Check. Done. We already have the sunburns to prove it.

Best decision ever. We have been three times already. I was hoping the gym and pool would get my boys away from the video games, computer screens, wrestling matches and into the fresh air leaving them too exhausted for those wrestling matches. It is better than I imagined. My eleven year old is swimming at least one mile in laps every time, and my six year old, the boy who didn't want to put his face under water on day one, by day three is swimming! An added bonus: childcare! I wasn't planning to use it much, but my six year old visited the playroom while I worked out upstairs the first day, and he now begs daily to go back. I'll have to indulge him once in a while; it's summer after all.

I hope to use some of my free joining "bucks" to see a trainer once or twice. I'd also love to try a few different classes this summer. Besides some cardio classes I'd like to try yoga and pilates.

Part 2 was food related. Since I started this journey doing a full month of the Clean program cleanse, I thought my halfway mark would be a good time to do it again for twenty-one days. I geared myself up mentally to start on June first. June first we came home from the pool happy and exhausted. I didn't have enough time to prepare a meal following the program (before we had to run to our next event), and my heart just wasn't in it. I still plan to eat clean as much as possible, but summer and a strict cleanse just don't go together. I actually have more time in the winter when I am home daily than I have in the out of routine summer months. Maybe I'll do one again in the fall or winter, but not now. So part one kicked part two to the curb. I just want to be more flexible with myself and family right now.

So my summer plan is pretty simple: lots of family time, exercising, eating clean, and surviving the heat! I would love to lose eight to ten pounds each month, but the scale is moving slower these days so we'll see!

Tuesday Results for Week 16

2011-05-31T23:23:00.001-05:00

Last week I sent around a neatly tied scroll inviting my children and hubby to our end of the year school party....complete with an rsvp number for my cell phone. It completely freaked them out. I had to answer about 5000 questions...What kind of party? A what? What does rsvp mean? Mom this is your phone number on the rsvp, right? It was funny. Once in a while it's fun to drive your children crazy. Really I think it's only fair.

For our celebration of the end of school we grilled, ate, and played a game that had us all in stitches. We played the family version of the newlywed game. Four teams of us guessing how our partners would answer questions about favorite things etc. It really turned out to be way more fun than I imagined; I love it when that happens. I love having a big family, and a special night like last night is magic.

Below is my week 16 in review. The weight loss was not stellar by any means. I have a plan for that. I am excited about June. Within a day or two I plan to blog about my summer kickoff to work off my next 40 pounds.

WEEK 16 RESULTS

Fasting Blood Sugar for 5/24/11 through 5/30/11
83
77
86
84
87
91
94

Morning Blood Pressure for 5/24/11 through 5/30/11
98/62
92/55
103/64
102/65
96/64
85/55
95/63

Dreaded Scale Numbers for 5/25/11 through 5/31/11
-0
-0
-0
-0
-0
-0.5
-0.5
So minus 1 pound. My total loss so far is minus 42 pounds. I am really okay with that. I felt like I had a very healthy eating week, and I hope that means this next week will be more! If every week starts getting this slow, I will not be okay with that.

Exercise for 5/24/11 through 5/30/11
4 miles/ 50.42 min. outside walking interval and lower body workout
3 miles/ 40 min. elliptical and upper body workout
none...worked on VBS decorating at church
4 miles/ 46.17 min. outside walking interval and lower body workout
LAZY....REST DAY
Rest day.
3.2 miles/ 39.24 min. outside walking interval..HOT outside!

Update on The Little Rose Jacket (TLRJ)

2011-05-27T10:53:00.000-05:00

Go big or go home must have been my motto when I bought TLRJ. It caught my eye while Christmas shopping in December of 2009. I thought it was the tangible inspiration I needed to lose the weight in 1010. Before I knew it 2011 was rolling in and I weighed at least ten more pounds than what I weighed when I bought TLRJ. I dusted it off and decided 2011 will be the year that I wear TLRJ.

Naturally when dreaming big and pulling out smaller clothes to check out what fits last week, my eyes went to TLRJ. I wasn't delusional enough to think it would fit, but since I was nearing the halfway mark in my weight loss journey I wanted to document how it fits (or doesn't fit) in pictures. Note to self: clean the mirror in the boys bathroom before snapping photos in it! Below are a few pictures complete with measuring tape to see how many inches I will need to work off before the LRJ buttons.

That tape measure says it is around five inches until TLRJ buttons. Like I said...go big or go home! It really is only a PM (petite medium), and that should be in the right size range once I am at my goal weight. It looks a little impossible in these photos, but that makes me even more determined to fit into in before 2012.

Below is my LRJ model Lizzie, and also freshly turned senior in high school. I asked her to model it to show what it should look like, and of course it is a little big on her.

So there is the update on my progress toward my LRJ. This fall or winter I hope to GO BIG and GO OUT in my LITTLE ROSE JACKET and some skinny jeans!

Amazing

2011-05-26T17:39:00.000-05:00

I read this article here about the winners of The Biggest Loser. The winner lost 129 pounds in 8 months. Two of the others in this article lost 120 pounds and 116 pounds in eight months. Amazing. That is an average of around 16, 15, and 14 pounds a month for eight long months. How do they do that? I know they have training, help, and work out for hours every day. I know my Jillian exercise dvd kills me, so I imagine her workout in person is incredible. BUT WOW!! They lose some of those pounds on their own at home too. Even if they did them all at the camp I still say WOW!! They also look fantastic; no loose skin or any sign they were ever 129 pounds bigger.

I would like a dose of their determination and consistency! It really makes me question all the popular advice out there saying slow weight loss is the best way to go. I know some of the past winners of The Biggest Loser gained weight back, but a lot of slow losers (myself included) also gain weight back. I confess I did not watch the show this season, but I am impressed with their achievements! What do you think? Slow and steady weight loss or fast and furious weight loss? Do you think it's possible to accomplish what they did without trainers, time, and of course that monetary reward? I don't think I could lose 14 or more pounds a month consistently for the next four months, but it is inspiring to know those people did it for eight months!

Maybe a Little More of This

2011-05-25T14:20:00.000-05:00

What does a six year old do on a chilly spring evening while his older sisters are practicing soccer?

He finds a plastic disposable glove and fills it with cold water of course.

He then slowly and innocently walks toward his soccer playing sisters.

Maybe a little more of this and a little less sitting on my behind in front of the computer, and I might not have to count calories!

Tuesday Tabulations

2011-05-24T21:55:00.000-05:00

Bananas and berries with cream for two. Cold, refreshing, and serotonin producing.

I want to say that my thoughts and prayers are with the people suffering from the horrific tornado damage. My heart is sad for them, and I cannot begin to imagine what they are going through.

Today I made it to the the official halfway mark: minus 41 pounds. I predicted I'd get too dramatic about it, and had myself prepared for a slight depression facing the daunting task of losing another 41 pounds. It didn't happen (I thought). I was so happy to reach that halfway point, and I really felt like losing 41 pounds makes it that much more possible to do it again. I'd like to order a 41 pound loss again please. I was pretty chipper about the entire thing UNTIL......I got the grand idea I should take some pictures at this halfway juncture. I thought it would be good to compare them with my at goal pictures some dreamy day. UGH. My perspective is so off. I thought I looked way better, I thought everything looked way better...my hair, face, double chin, arms, tummy, and behind. Even my legs that aren't really fat (those sticks that carry my heavy apple around) are about the color of a cotton ball. Lovely. These pictures started to depress me. I mean really, I lose 41 pounds and look like this? I cannot imagine what I looked like before.

These pictures are enough to make me have a ~~little~~ big pity party, which of course could include some chocolate. NOPE. It is what it is. I am going to be thankful that I have a healthy body. A body that can walk, jog, lift weights, chase after my children, and hug on my man. I am going to accept these photos, publish them for accountability, and embrace them as motivation to press on and lose the next 41 pounds. It really isn't easy putting them on here. That in itself is silly since everyone that knows me knows I look like this. I'm the only one not in on the secret. Maybe a little more reality and a lot less denial and I would not need to lose 82 pounds! So behold the awful pictures below. Motivational pictures: Don't do as I did, and I will continue to do better!

WEEK 15 RESULTS

Fasting Blood Sugar for 5/17/11 through 5/23/11

Morning Blood Pressure for 5/17/11 through 5/23/11

104/68

91/51

95/59

96/63

107/63

94/68

101/63

Dreaded Scale Numbers for 5/18/11 through 5/24/11

-0

-0.5

So a total of minus 2.5 pounds this week bringing my total loss to minus 41 pounds. Halfway to goal.

Exercise for 5/17/11 through 5/23/11

3.0 miles/ 35.40 minutes elliptical/ upper body workout

4.0 miles/ 49.38 minutes outside walk interval/ lower body workout

4.0 miles/ 47.12 minutes outside walk interval/ upper body workout

2.0 miles/ 27.35 minutes (neck hurting)/ lower body workout

4.0 miles/ 51.26 minutes (neck hurting so slower)

Rest day.

4.0 miles/48.51 minutes outside walk interval/upper body workout

I have two herniated disks in my neck that act up once in a while. When they start to bother me, I try to do what I can to prevent them from going into a major problem which is extremely painful. I had to slow my jogging a little. I hope I don't have to stop jogging, because I am starting to enjoy what little bit of it I do.

Below is my journal for this week. It seems like these weeks are flying!

My Cholesterol: The Rest of the Story

2011-05-23T08:45:00.000-05:00

Back in April I wrote this post about My Shockingly Great News . I was in the middle of my eleventh week of healthy eating and I had sporadically taken a quick cholesterol blood test at The Little Clinic. My parents were visiting from Illinois, and I had abstained from all the gigantic amounts of food goodies they had brought with them. I walked out of The Little Clinic ecstatic and patting my back for not eating all of those treats. The results they gave me told me my cholesterol had dropped from 278 at the doctors last fall down to 184. I was so happy. I followed the advice of the nurse at the clinic to schedule an appointment with my doctor to get a more thorough blood test; one that would tell me the complete breakdown of all the numbers.

I went into the nurse at my doctors office the next week and was about the perkiest I'd ever been giving blood. I couldn't wait to get those results and see all the fantastically lower numbers. Imagine my shock three days later when the nurse called on the Friday before Easter and started her conversation with,"These numbers do not look good." I wanted to stop her right there and say...."whoa...what? Do you have the right person?" I didn't open my mouth because I honestly couldn't believe what I was hearing. My overall cholesterol was 230. That wasn't as bad as my LDL and HDL. My good cholesterol HDL was only 35 and it should be over 40. My bad LDL cholesterol was 168 and it should be under 130. My triglycerides were 135 which was, thank goodness, good. They should be under 150. My vitamin D level had gone up from 27 to 50; it was in the normal range.

I was so sad. Really sad. Now if the only results I had ever heard were those I might have been okay. My overall cholesterol did drop from 278 down to 230. That is 48 points lower in just 10 weeks of healthy eating. They did not run the other numbers last fall, so I did not have a comparison for them. However, hearing the seriousness of how bad those numbers still are in the nurse's voice combined with the fact that I thought my cholesterol was 184 really whacked me out. More on that in a second.

I also noticed one more thing on my blood tests. They ordered a hepatic function panel A also. What was that all about? Did bad cholesterol mean my liver was shot? Did I have a liver disease they weren't telling me about? I had to call back to find out. Apparently, without asking me, it was routine to check my liver levels because they needed a baseline for the cholesterol medicine they were going to prescribe for me. We agreed to disagree, and give me until this fall to see if I can knock those numbers into the healthy zone without medicine.

Back to whacked out me. I hung up the phone , and announced we were going out to dinner. My collage daughter was home for Easter, so we all loaded up and headed to Whole Foods. It was fun and healthy, but the partay continued on to Sweet Cici's frozen yogurt. Those bad numbers given to me by the nurse that flunked her bedside manners 101 class should have shaken me into reality and kept me on the straight and narrow. I was just so sad, and we all know what emotional eaters do when they are sad. I buried my sorrows in a little Sweet Cici's. The next morning the scale was up 1 pound. Now a little sadder and in the mood to bake and celebrate I nibbled all day long preparing the Easter feast. Sunday morning I woke up another 1.5 pounds up. I was on a roll now for Easter and enjoyed a huge lunch and leftovers all evening long. Monday morning I woke up 2 more pounds higher on the scale. 4.5 pounds I gained over Easter weekend. I think it might have gone differently if that call had come after Easter. I'm not blaming anyone else though. No matter what the good or bad news, I have to control my emotional eating monster. I continued that week to put on another pound and a half before I got a grip by Thursday and the pounds started to come back off SLOWLY.

I didn't really get a consistent grip and stop eating refined sugar until Thursday, May 5th. So that little short weekend break turned into 13 days of eating sugar, trying to get a grip, failing to get a grip, wondering if I'd ever again get a grip, praying this wasn't the new trend that would make me regain all my weight as usual, and basically scaring myself to death. Whew. I don't want to ever do that again, but history tells me there is a strong chance I might. I need to be prepared for dealing with it better. I need skills for dealing with my brain and emotional eating; good thing I rechecked out the brain doctors dieting book ; I hope to finish it this week.

Anywho, that is the sorry synopsis of how my cholesterol numbers are sadly not as good as I thought they were. I hope that once I am in a healthy BMI range they will be better. I am also trying to talk myself into a couple things: Maybe a 21 day cleanse to start the summer with a bang the beginning of June, and adding in a day or two of vegan eating every week. I am thinking that maybe the more plant based eating I can do the better my cholesterol will be. I would love to work up to several vegan days a week, but right now I will try starting with one. Below is my Sunday lunch. This would be a perfectly delicious vegan meal minus the chicken on the left. I need more days minus the chicken (but oh chicken how I like you).

40 POUNDS DOWN

2011-05-22T13:22:00.002-05:00

Forty pounds down this morning, and do you know how I celebrated? Think big but not too big. I bought these big old things and tried them out today.

I know, you can take the girl out of the eighties, but you can't take the eighties out of the girl. I splurged on a new set of rollers since the clips to my old ones long ago grew legs and walked upstairs. What goes upstairs (teenager haven) usually stays upstairs.

It all goes together for me. The more weight I put on the less I worried about my hair. It was stressful enough just hoping my Sunday pants would still zip every week. The bigger I got the more I just wanted to slip into church and back out without being seen. It didn't seem like curling my hair would help my puffy face look any better, so when my curler clips went MIA I didn't replace them.

While I am on this subject of letting myself go, another thing I didn't focus on was clothes. Hardly anything fit, and I refused to buy bigger and bigger sizes, so I wore the same things all the time. I was also stuffed uncomfortably into them since I thought refusing to buy bigger clothes meant I wasn't that bigger size. Talk about denial. Anyway, I am really seeing this now because I am wearing different things all the time. Almost every other day now one of my children ask me if what I'm wearing is new or they ask why I am "dressed up." Most of the "new" things they don't remember are clothes from four years ago that I am getting back into. So I say "NO, IT'S JUST AN OLD SHIRT" or "THIS OLD SHIRT ISN'T DRESSING UP." And it isn't dressing up really, but they are just so used to me dressing really really down in my two or three shirts I wore continually that they are surprised. I hate it that I was such a bad example the last four years, but I see the influence it had, and am determined to do better!

Anyway, as life goes I walked outside with my bouncy hair wilting immediately in the spitting rain. Before it started pouring I had my favorite budding eleven year old photographer Peter snap a couple shots of me minus 40 pounds. Mr Aidan would not be left out.

I had a little bounce in my step (even if it was missing from my hair) today wearing my loose skirt and knowing I am just one more pound away from my halfway mark.

The choir sang a song in church today titled, "It is Finished." There is a line in the song that says, "These were battles of my own making." I thought of my weight gain and the battle I made for myself. Then the song says, "I didn't know that the war had been won, Oh but then I heard the King of the Ages, Had fought all the battles for me, AND THAT VICTORY WAS MINE FOR THE CLAIMING, And now praise His name, I AM FREE." It makes me teary typing it. I realized right then that He has already won this for me. I don't have to wonder or worry if this next 42 pounds is coming off. In His power and name I AM FREE!!! They are coming off, and I am excited about experiencing the journey!

Do We Have to be HUNGRY to Lose Weight?

2011-05-20T13:04:00.000-05:00

The television advertising payed off as usual. My two youngest boys begged us for two weeks to go to the nearby May fair, and we succumbed. We loaded up our bottom three children and enjoyed a night full of somewhat lame rides, monkeys riding dogs in the Banana Derby, gigantic camels, and the ever present smells of fried carnival food.
While I walked around for several hours taking pictures of my monkeys in a barrel...and they were preforming their monkey tricks like hiding while I tried to get the picture....,

my youngest partaking in his first driver's ed lesson,

or his train engineering lesson,

I began to get HUNGRY. The nasty carnival smells were everywhere. For a while I was actually to busy running after my fast as lightening children and snapping some more of these pictures below to worry about that HUNGER.

That last picture reminds me of why I love it that my fair job is photo support. I don't miss the days of peer pressure and rides that made my stomach do flips. I know some of you like my brother and sister-in-law beg your children to ride with you, but I like my feet flat on the ground and my stomach appreciates me for that.

Anyway, I was HUNGRY. Nothing I saw walking by me looked even enticing except for maybe the gigantic mound of fried in oil potato chips. Oh I do love a potato anyway everyday....fried, mashed, baked, chipped. That is why I slightly resemble Mrs. Potato Head...especially from the profile. I was HUNGRY; hadn't had a bite since lunch around two'o clock. My mind started to try a few of those mind games on me like..."go ahead....just today....one fair event won't matter...". I kept putting off those ideas and finally the night came to an end.

We had a little bit of a drive home, and stopped for some fast food for the HUNGRY family to eat in the car.
There were some healthy options, and like I said I was HUNGRY. I opted out though because it was almost nine o'clock, and I so wanted to see a good result on the dreaded scale in the morning. I was HUNGRY for my scale number to go down more than I was HUNGRY for food.

So YES, I AM HUNGRY.
I am HUNGRY for the weight to come off.
I am HUNGRY to wear cute clothes in smaller sizes.
I am HUNGRY to feel more energetic and full of life.
I am HUNGRY to be a good example for my family, and make them proud.
I am HUNGRY to walk in success instead of daily defeat.
I am HUNGRY to hold my head high in public instead of shamefully worrying about my weight.
I am HUNGRY to strengthen my physical, mental, and spiritual muscles.
I am HUNGRY to lower my cholesterol levels.
I am HUNGRY to win this battle and live normally.
I am HUNGRY for victory!!!

I have real stomach HUNGER sometimes, and I do think living with that is part of this process. I am trying to turn those hunger pains into notices that remind me what I am truly hungry for. They remind me that my losing weight process is working, and what it is working toward. When I am HUNGRY I want to yell," YES, I AM HUNGRY, AND I AM HUNGRY FOR ____________________!"

I woke up this morning and I stepped on the scale hoping for those good results I dreamed of last night. Well, as the dreaded scale can be, I was only down 1/2 a pound. Yep, minus 0.5. I wasn't discouraged at all though, because I was empowered by right choices and victory the day before. I went to bed last night peacefully in success and woke up still confirmed in that reality. Even the dreaded scale could not take that wonderful feeling away.

How about you? Are you hungry, and what are you hungry for?

Tuesday Update on TUESDAY

2011-05-17T15:53:00.000-05:00

This weekend my hubby and I enjoyed some berries and cream for two. Some of my kiddoes indulged also, but I won't even go into their picky requests......no blueberries please, just the red ones mom with the blueberries, all with cream, just a little cream, no cream, please just cream on top, and the winner...please just cream. That last one is a small clone of mine. My hubby and I aren't picky thank goodness; just give us all the berries we can have swimming in all the cream we are allowed and an extra squirt. The berries didn't last long sadly, but the cream is still taunting me from the fridge. I can't hear you cream, I can't hear you.

I'm trying to enjoy the weight loss journey so I don't drive myself crazy. I don't want to make it to my goal some day only to be so frustrated about the process that I return to overeating and watch those numbers fly right back up the scale. Been there; done that. After reading some of Dr. Daniel G. Amen's book about healthy brains, I am now incorporating his advice for my brain type to eat foods that produce serotonin. Serotonin is not in food, but certain foods cause the brain to produce serotonin (if I understand this correctly). Some of the foods he recommends that do this are: bananas, cottage cheese, brown rice, herbal teas, mackerel, salmon, sunflower seeds, swiss cheese, and turkey. It may be my overactive imagination, but I already feel a little calmer and more satisfied.

One thing I am doing it adding cottage cheese to our berry smoothies. I was trying to get some protein into my hubby's smoothie. We actually really like the cottage cheese. It gives the smoothie such a thick creamy texture making it almost like a milkshake. I still like my brown rice protein, but now we have another protein option. Below are our berry smoothies which contain the following ingredients: 2 cups berries, 1 1/2 cups sugar free coconut milk, 1/2 avocado, spinach, 1/2 cup ice, 1 teaspoon agave, 1 cup fat free cottage cheese, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, and 4 teaspoons Benefiber. Those ingredients make 2 smoothies.

WEEK 14 RESULTS--Have mercy; I did travel this week!

Fasting Blood Sugar For 5/10/11 through 5/16/11
93
99
103
86
83
84
93

Morning Blood Pressure for 5/10/11 through 5/16/11
104/61
101/64
85/46
103/55
101/68
93/61
105/64

Dreaded Scale Numbers for 5/11/11 through 5/17/11
No scale at motel.
+0.5
-0.5
-1
-0
-0
-0.5
So a total loss of -1 1/2 pounds this week bringing my total loss to 38 1/2 pounds. I am getting close to 40 and when I get to 41 I will be halfway. I am not happy with my blood sugar and pressure numbers. It seems like I almost have to eat way under my calorie allotment to keep them low. I am going to have to figure out this area.

Exercise for 5/10/11 through 5/16/11
Hotel Dreadmill 2.1 miles/ 30.20 min/ lower body workout
No exercise/ traveling
4 miles/ 49.55 min. outside interval walking/ upper body workout
3.2 miles/ 39.10 min. outside interval walking/ lower body workout
4.0 miles/ 49.58 min. outside interval walking/ upper body workout
Rest day.
4.0 miles/ 46 min elliptical/ lower body workout

I really do like the interval cardio workouts. They are slowly making me faster and stronger. Today I had a little workout buddy for my weight training time. This child NEVER stops talking, and I love it that today we spent time chatting and exercising together. Below is a copy of this weeks healthy living record book. I still really like seeing the whole week at a glance together.

Apple or Pear

2011-05-15T16:24:00.000-05:00

What shape are you? I am such an apple. Apple, apple, apple. I feel like my stomach is never going to go away, and my legs do not look like they go with my body. Frankly I feel a little sorry for them having to tote around this apple all day long. One thing I have never thought about until today is the faces of apples and pears. My face gains weight big time when I pack on the pounds. I began thinking of some of my overweight pear friends wondering if their faces balloon out as much as mine does. Really when I get to my regular weight, my face will look like a different person. Of course I am dreaming that it will look like a twenty year old person but realism is not my strong suit. Any of you apples or pears want to comment on whether your face changes much when you gain weight?

News flash: I just checked with the indisputable Wikipedia site and found out there are four female body shapes: Apple, Banana, Pear, Hourglass. Okay, if I were taking a standardized test I think I could pick out which item does not belong in that list. Really? I can hear the ladies at the gym...Oh I'm an apple. Honey I'm a pear. Well sweet darling I love being a banana. Not me losers....I'm a an HOURGLASS. Really? We have three fruits and an HOURGLASS??? I am showing my lack of knowledge here, but I had no idea there even was a banana. Sorry banana and HOURGLASS for not including your photos in the top; I'll make it up to you at the end. According to the Wikipedia page only the apple and the banana shapes tend to put weight on in the face. I would love to hear what your shape is, and if you gain weight in the face.

I am off to take my apple to the kitchen to see how the game of Apples to Apples is going.

Just to be fair; I do not want to leave out you hourglasses and bananas. In all seriousness, I am very thankful for healthy bodies and the variety of shapes that God gave all of us!

Fellow Blogger's Inspiration

2011-05-14T17:32:00.000-05:00

After our two baseball games this morning, I found myself wandering around Costco thinking about two questions I read on blogs this week. The first question at The Diet Naked Blog was "Can you diet successfully without being obsessed with your diet?" I just keep thinking about my answer, and decided to write my open response here.

I'd like to think that I can diet and lose weight without making it my entire focus, but just two days ago my husband said it seemed like I worked out all the time. I thought about that, and I really am not working out more than 60 to 90 minutes 4 to 6 times a week. Why does it seem like it's all the time to my family? Really why does it seem like it's all the time to me? Could it be that I put on my workout clothes, talk about my workout coming, finally workout, talk about the workout I did, and discuss for several ~~minutes~~ hours how I need to get a shower because of my workout. It's a big focus; A BIG FOCUS. And the food end of the diet deal is an even bigger focus. I talk about the breakfast smoothie. I experiment with the smoothie. I blog about the smoothie. I read books on healthy eating. I tell my family about the latest and greatest things I just read about healthy eating ideas, and then of course I talk about them here. I plan, cut, wash, grill, chop, and prepare in new and exciting ways healthy foods. And of course forbid it that I every get off track and off plan because then everyone around me suffers with my explanations, excuses, and depression.

So NO, I cannot seem to eat healthy, exercise, and lose weight without making it a major focus. MAJOR. Part of me hates that I have to put so much time, energy and focus into the healthy battle, but then really I wouldn't be here needing to do this if I could handle food without the extreme focus. I need to face the facts that I am an emotional eater, and I am seriously addicted to sugar. Those are two serious facts that I have spent a lot of my life joking about and sweeping under the rug. I spent the last several years telling myself it wasn't really that important, but I was lying to myself. My borderline diabetic state and cholesterol numbers show that. (Update on my Cholesterol...the rest of the story... later this week.) I am emotionally and physically addicted to food, and for me it takes an incredible amount of focus to fight my way out of those addictions. I hope for the day that a healthy lifestyle is just the norm and I do not need to devote so much thought, time, and energy toward it, but to get to that day, right now requires a lot of attention.

This is a battle. It is a worthy and important battle. I can't spend my time wishing it wasn't my battle, or regretting "letting myself go" until I collided with this situation. It is what it is. Now I am climbing out of my pit of self-destruction, and that takes a lot of everything: planning, time, focus, failure, trying again, prayer, sweat, tears, and work. While I am climbing up and out I am learning so much every step of the journey. I cannot hurry it, but I need that total focus during it to stay strong, learn, and continue. So my final answer to her question is Nope. I am obsessed with this dieting thing, but I am trying to tone down my outward obsessed self. I don't want to arrive at the top of the pit and find out I drove everyone crazy around me.

The other question I encountered was at Shrinking Sisters. One of the sisters is frustrated because she is doing everything right and still the scale is not moving downward. Oh the dreaded scale. I can relate to this one! I don't really have a clue for this but it sure has me thinking. It just doesn't seem like all that scientific factual calories in and out stuff always comes through completely. We, me included, are always happy to imagine that there are some people who just seem to be able to eat extra and never gain weight. It doesn't bother me if their numbers don't work out. It does become a nightmare when those same numbers don't work correctly for those of us cutting our calories and increasing our exercise. The older I get, the fewer calories I need and the more calories I have to cut to lose weight. I also cannot seem to cheat at all or my weight rebounds quickly. At this age sometimes I think I need a few less calories than what the scientists say I do. It does all seem like a mystery when my body finally decides to give up those pounds. Well partly a mystery because one thing is for sure: if I eat an entire cheesecake I will pack on the pounds!

I enjoy reading you fellow bloggers out there in blogger land! Thanks for making me laugh and think! I leave you with my handsome hubby coaching my youngest son's tball team, and three of my daughters heading out for dinner.

He made it: first base! Below a little sister love minus one working sister.

Tuesday Update On Friday

2011-05-13T21:50:00.001-05:00

I love my new record keeping/journaling method using a lesson planner. I can look straight across in each category and compare all of the data. Data....sounds so scientific and important. I find I am not really needing two boxes for exercise, so next week I may use the bottom for mental/emotional notes; like how my hormones made me feel like hugging the entire world, or how those hormones turned me into the fire breathing dragon, or how those versatile hormones gave me the munchies that drove me insane.

I was hoping to update my progress on Wednesday, but our overnight trip to pick up our college freshman turned into two nights. It's a really good thing my husband was with me because as we were close to our destination, he asked me what that sound was. I of course did not hear a sound. What sound? That sound? What sound? Finally, I said, "You mean that little ticking that sounds like the spinner on the Life game?" Yes he said, and informed me it was a very bad sound. It certainly didn't sound bad to my non-mechanical brain. If it's not screeching, than surely it's not in need of immediate attention, is my theory that applies to all things mechanical including the vacuum. Well, over 24 hours later, one new oil pump, and a shockingly large bill, we raced out of the repair shop to finally empty our daughter's dorm room, debunk her bed, and pack up the vehicle. I am so glad he was with me, because as I am now so well informed, when the oil pumps go out the entire engine is ruined beyond repair if the non-mechanical lady (ME) continues to drive it. Now that I think of it, that repair bill was a lot cheaper than a brand new shiny suburban!

Minus the obvious inconveniences, it was fun hanging out with our daughter. We took her and her new fellow out to dinner. My hubby ordered the turkey barbecue nachos, I had the turkey salad, and tried to sneak in a picture of the newly dating couple much to my daughters horror.

The next day we couldn't empty her dorm without the suburban to pack it all in, so we suffered and went to my favorite place. Love the entire square and the Tomato Head. We even enjoyed an afternoon movie after that.

After all of the packing, moving, and cleaning I let myself enjoy a little of this again. Probably not a wise idea, but I seem to be staying on plan now that I'm back at home...thank goodness.

So I did not update on Thursday because blogger was down, bringing me to my Tuesday update on Friday. I am planning to be back to Tuesdays next week.

WEEK 14 RESULTS

Fasting Blood Sugar for 5/3/11 through 5/9/11
109 cake the night before
98
91
95
90
87
91

Morning Blood Pressure for 5/3/11 through 5/9/11
106/71
99/64
105/62
99/56
101/67
96/64
97/61

Dreaded Scale Numbers for 5/4/11 through 5/10/11
+0.5
-0.5
-0.5
-0.5
-1.5
-0.5
Tuesday morning/no scale at motel.

So a total of minus 3 pounds bringing my total loss to minus 37 pounds. I still have one more pound to lose to get to where I was before Easter. I really need to lose at least 30 more pounds, so I need to get busy!

Exercise for 5/3/11 through 5/9/11
3.8 miles/ 46 minutes elliptical
3.2 miles/ 39.32 minutes outside walking
3.7 miles/ 46 minutes elliptical/ upper body workout
3.6 miles/ 46 minutes elliptical/ lower body workout
3.7/ 46 minutes elliptical/ upper body workout
Sunday rest day/ 1.6 mile walk after dinner
Monday travel day no workout

We are home, all the birds are in the nest for the summer, and hopefully I will stay on plan and kick this weight loss into high gear!

Mayzie is Hitting the Road Again

2011-05-09T23:37:00.001-05:00

Well it is not exactly a Mayzie all fun and play trip this time. My hubby and I are going to pick up this pretty girlie. Actually we are gonna pack her up, debunk her bed, restore her dorm doors/room, carry her loads down the 5,000 steps, and bring her home for the summer! I cannot wait to have her home! One year ago (picture below) she was dreaming of college, and now she's a sophomore!!

Well, what am I saying? One year ago she was doing this (below), and now she's a college sophomore.

What am I saying? One year ago I was doing this (below), and now I HAVE a college sophomore.

Anyway, I say all this to say my Tuesday update might not happen until Wednesday. And to ask you to pray for safety as we travel. And to ask you to pray for my husband since my new love of Sabra hummus seems to be doing a number on me. It could be a long ride honey. Just when I find something nutritious and yummy it has such ~~GAS-otronomic~~ unpleasant side affects. And to ask you to pray for these people (below) holding down the fort. They will be happy to see us arrive home safe and sound! I am looking forward to my weekly report...which is a good thing!

And below with some of the fort they will be holding down.

Miracles

2011-05-08T17:42:00.000-05:00

Happy Mother's Day, and what a fun one it has been! My eleven year old presented me with this pretty paper weight today and said,"It is a MIRACLE that I have you." Is that not sweet or what? He actually took his own money to church and shopped at the church bookstore. He also got the necklace below. He is gonna make some girl very happy someday, that one.

The day was full of other fun and thoughtful surprises. When I walked in after church, one of my daughters (that had arrived home before me) had cleaned the entire downstairs. I was thrilled. Another painted this beautiful canvas for me. I was amazed and loved the message she wrote.

My youngest daughter surprised me with these flowers at church, and presented this gorgeous flower drawing to me at home.

My youngest, Mr. Shop Vac Lover presented me with cards early this morning and could not wait to show me his spotlessly cleaned room later today.

Mr Hubby spoiled me with these fun things below. He must read my ~~mind~~ blog.

My long lost college girl sent me sweet messages and chatted with me on the phone. Last but not least, my oldest arrived home hot and sweaty form his job at Lowes and presented me with this. This is truly the gift that keeps on giving since he will be operating this for me all season!

He cannot believe I am snapping his picture in his hot and sweaty clothes (he works outside). I am so thankful and blessed! Lots of fun, fellowship, hugs, and gifts. I love mothering....it is the best!

TOUCHDOWN

2011-05-07T21:21:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post to say I hit the vegetable and fruit jackpot today. I had at least 10 servings. Here's the lowdown.

Breakfast smoothie had 3 with the berries, spinach, and avocado.

Lunch had at least 4. Thank you Mr. Handsome for bringing home more hummus!

Dinner had 3. Not pictured is the entire plate of Roma tomatoes I finished off myself. That had to be at least two servings alone. Above is my yummy salmon burger I had instead of the hamburgers everyone else ate. I used to think it would be difficult to work in five or more veggie/fruit servings a day. I must confess some of my children do not work in five servings a day. My goal this year is to change that big time. After all those brain supporting veggies I felt so good after dinner that I took a thirty minute walk. Now its time to kiss the munchkin goodnight. He's shop vacuuming my bathroom as I type. We have this arrangement: I cut his hair and he begs (literally) to shopvac the hairs off the floor. I think it's a pretty good deal if it doesn't kill his and my ear drums. I just caught him shopvaccing his toes; I think it's time for a bedtime intervention.

Nothing like a little man with a fresh haircut.

JUST SAY NO

2011-05-07T14:34:00.001-05:00

The safest choice right now for me is NO. A BIG NO. My hubby's go to philosophy for raising seven children is "If I have to give you an answer right now, the answer it NO." The child beggar usually tries all the usual tactics. You know, big eyes, sad eyes, desperate voice, wailing with tears, repetitive words like please, exaggerated statements that imply the world will end, and lots of drama. Really, all my children should all have their own disney shows.

I won't point any fingers on where they might get their dramatic genes, but I have been telling my dramatic self that the begging , excuses, and wailing is not gonna work. NO not this time. Like this morning. My lazy drama queen self said to me that since I had worked out all week today I could take a break. NO. I told myself NO. I hopped on the elliptical; 3.7 miles later I felt rejuvenated enough to continue the party downstairs with an upper body weight workout. YES!!! YES to SUCCESS!!! Later I wanted something unhealthy for breakfast and you guessed it, I said NO. Below is the yummy healthy berry, spinach, avocado, and brown rice protein smoothie. Can you see the green flecks in it? Minus the blueberries it looked a little like dirt.

Last night I thought I would like just a nibble of the chocolate angel food cake that I should not have picked up at Kroger for 99 cents (sale rack). My first mistake was telling myself it was for the children. They are not even tempted to touch it. In fact, the idea of chocolate in their angel food cake scared them all. Anyway, I told myself NO. Absolutely NO.

I guess treating myself like a child is par for the course right now, with lots of NO's included. When I say NO now I feel so much better in the long term. My smoothie is long gone, but I feel physically and mentally way better than I would have if I had given in to my unhealthy craving. When I eat something unhealthy, the fun in that choice literally only lasts for a few minutes. In fact, sometimes even that few minutes of "fun eating" is already turning sour by the guilt and discouragement I begin feeling while I am still eating. Those few minutes of unhealthy eating are then followed my several hours of misery. Misery because of the guilt, defeat, and discouragement I feel spiritually and mentally, and misery because of the tiredness, sluggishness, and just plain stupefied feeling I have physically. Those feeling last a lot longer than that short and temporary high from the unhealthy food. One thing in this book by Dr, Amen that I found interesting is that he always says unhealthy food will make you _____________, _____________, ______________, and stupid. He often puts stupid on the end of his list. I hadn't really thought of my brain and food making it more stupid before his book, but he has the patients and brain scans to prove it.

Sometimes No, and JUST SAYING NO seems hard. The list for the opposite meaning of lethargic on the free dictionary online was: spirited, active, alert, stimulated, vigorous, energetic, animated, responsive. I want to be all those things!!! I want to be spirited, active, and alert in all my choices. I want to be stimulated and vigorous when I face my daily routine. I want to be animated and responsive to my children and husband. I don't want to live in a dull cloud (induced by unhealthy food) of depression, guilt, lethargy, and hopelessness. This is my pep talk to me. I want to remember how worth it the choice is when I say NO to unhealthy desires and YES TO SUCCESS!!!!

The ZONE...It's Coming Back to Me

2011-05-06T20:02:00.000-05:00

Oh how I missed staying on plan and ending days in victory. It is really so much more satisfying than any dopamine or serotonin induced sugar high can ever be. I guess because not only do I feel so much better physically, but I also feel much better emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I was getting discouraged these last few days wondering if I was going to be able to get back to consistently healthy eating. I am so encouraged today because today was my first full day of exercising, and eating on plan and actually liking it. It is a little early yet to say I am in safe zone-like territory, but today made me feel so good that I hope it inspires me to keep going!

What is on your Mother's Day list? Do you have one for you or a special mother in your life? It is scary how I have linked every tradition, including Mother's Day, to food. Usually we have a special meal. We grill steak or we take home Kentucky Fried Chicken and the fix'ins. I know, those two lunches are worlds apart! Dessert for the last many Mother's Day celebrations was a big old tub of Baskin Robbin's Pralines 'n Cream ice cream. I worked at that store all through high school and summers home from college, so it is my favorite ice cream. We actually hardly ever go there, thus why it was special once a year. If there was any candy amongst my Mother's Day surprises, it was usually Ghirardelli assortments. I love Ghirardelli square, and San Francisco.

Well this year I said PLEASE NO FOOD RELATED GIFTS OR CELEBRATIONS. I had debated last week if I could handle the usual dessert and lunch. I started telling myself it is just one day, but today I know in my heart that it is not really just one day. I am just now recovering from the "one day" of Easter, and if I indulge in sugar this soon it my derail me another week, or two, or three, or permanently stop me in my tracks. For the last six years one holiday seemed to stretch into another. I never ate consistently healthy because I was always partying with food. I need my healthy eating to be a lifestyle. I need to learn to celebrate life and good times without sugar.

So what is on my list? Spending time with my wonderful family, resting and relaxing, hopefully a day off from driving duty, ha, and maybe a request for a manicure gift card, and possibly a big hint for this too cute duffel bag in Folkloric that goes with my daughter's college colors. A mom's gotta fit in when she visits!

I am learning tons from this library book I mentioned last time.

He is really inspiring me to fuel my body with plenty of healthy fruits and vegetables. I am trying to sneak them in whenever I can. Today I added spinach and avocado to our smoothie. It made the prettiest picture before and after. All the colors were so lovely.

I loved that swirl it made on its own. We could not even taste the spinach, and the avocado gave the smoothie a very thick and creamy consistency. Yum. I am making this again tomorrow!

Tonight for dinner I was so looking forward to this deliciousness I discovered at Costco.

Sabra Spinach and Artichoke Hummus. It is so good, I really like it with carrots and broccoli. Alas, when I went to pull out the container my healthy and very skinny Junior had eaten almost all of it. Although I wish she had left her mama a little more than a teaspoonful, I am tickled that she enjoys eating vegetables and hummus.
So below was dinner. That tiny green dab by the carrots was my yummy hummus.

After dinner I ate something I have not eaten in a while. Before my time off from healthy eating, I was leaning toward clean eating with a lower carb/ lower Glycemic Index bent. Well the brain doctor says that this type of eating is bad for my brain type. For instance, I am a compulsive and emotional overeater. My brain affected areas that need help are the anterior cingulate gyrus and the deep limbic system. Those are big words,, but the first one means I am too focused ( I can get stuck on negative thoughts or stuck on thoughts about food etc), and the second one is my emotions (depression). He says high protein diets help people focus. Some of the brain types need that, but I do not. I need more serotonin to calm my brain, make me happier, and help me stop focusing on unhealthy food. In his book on page 108 he lists several foods that help raise serotonin levels. One of them is what I had for dessert after dinner.

Here I am with my banana and my monkey begging for a bite. See, healthy eating is catching around here!
Actually, I have always loved bananas; I guess my body knew what was best! Dr. Amen is all about no refined sugar, and very clean healthy food aiming toward the lower Glycemic Index, so I believe him when he says I can have a banana. I don't want to drive myself and my brain crazy on this journey. I want this to all be a permanent change that my body is happily healthy with. And that banana was really good; I am still smiling about it. Oh, and the monkey in the glasses ate two bananas; at least I am inspiring someone!!

Tuesday's Short and Not So Sweet Update

2011-05-03T20:02:00.000-05:00

Looking at our school calendar above I realize that three not so superior dieting days DOES NOT make for an entire month of diet failure. I have a lot more softballs to add to this month, and they had all better be winners. I still seem to be stuck in the trying but not succeeding mode. Today I did well until I had a few tasters at Costco that somehow made me believe I should therefore end dinner tonight with cake and ice cream. Well, the cake is gone now, and so are my sugar indulgences. When I am struggling I just cannot have desserts around. When I am in the zone (and oh zone I miss you), I can keep anything in the house.

I am reading/skimming this seven day library book right now. I love it. It is full of so many interesting facts about the brain. Like the more overweight you are the smaller your brain is. It is all about thinking correctly to eat correctly, and I know I need that information. I wish I could get him to examine my brain and see what in the world is going on in there!

Okay, below are my non-stellar results. As you will see my poor eating is affecting everything. My blood sugar numbers are awful. At least this week I did not gain any pounds, but I did lose in the area of health. My numbers got worse and that is a big loss. I will do better this week; I have to for my health, sanity, and family.

WEEK 13 RESULTS

Fasting Blood Sugar for 4/26/11 through 5/2/11
101
101
99
101
103
98
93

Morning Blood Pressure for 4/26/11 through 5/2/11
93/62
93/58
99/66
109/71
103/68
97/65
98/63

Dreaded Scale Numbers for 4/27 through 5/3/11
+1
+0.5
-1
-0.5
-0
-0
-0

I did gain and I did lose to bring me back to a net of zero. So I am still at minus 34 pounds.

Exercise for 4/2611 through 5/2/11
3.4 miles at 46 min. on the elliptical and lower body workout
3.3 miles at 46 min. on the elliptical
4.0 miles at 53.35 min walking outside and upper body workout
Friday none
Saturday after dinner stroll of 1.6 miles at 28 minutes/ not really a workout
Sunday rest
3.7 miles at 46 min. on the elliptical and lower body workout. I did the interval training on the elliptical, and I really like it. It seems to break up the minutes making them go faster, and it gives me a faster and better workout.

Okay, since today wasn't anything to blog home about, I still have six more days to hit it out of the park. I hope I have a better update next week! It is almost eight and I have had one of those days where the workout has not happened yet, so I had better step away from the computer and onto the elliptical!

The Ducks Think Our Backyard Is Their New Lake

2011-05-02T19:46:00.000-05:00

It is really raining here, and thank goodness tonight is supposed to be the last night. We are fine thanks to my hubby who is monitoring water pumps around our yard. The large church near us that opened its doors for an official emergency evacuation shelter was full with 180 people staying there this morning.

We had a busy weekend with rain and tornado sirens which are becoming par for the course, but the sky actually parted and let out enough sun to enjoy a little baseball on Saturday. While my hubby coached my six year old, I watched my Peter Sweeter.

Above is the final huddle. The very short number 3 would be my Aidan who freshly arrived after his game just in time to crash the after game snack.

Sunday evening, after an afternoon of more tornado sirens, we enjoyed Peter's fourth and fifth grade choir production. It was really amazing, and Peter was the best swordsman ever.

We all enjoyed a packed fellowship with free corndogs and ice cream afterward.

Today I started off determined to conquer the sugar monster. I made my sweetie a bowl of oatmeal with fruit and I had an egg with a mini whole wheat bagel.

I tried a little cream cheese experimenting. I prefer skim milk, so I thought why wouldn't I like fat free cream cheese? I don't know why, but I do not like fat free cream cheese. I think I'd rather have nothing than have ffcc. Maybe it works well in baking, but not alone. Next up was the Nuefchatel. I loved it. It seemed smoother than regular cream cheese, and tasted great.

After a fantastic interval workout, lunch was healthy with a salad with carrots and an avocado and a lean hamburger on a light whole wheat bun. HOWEVER, after my daughter ran out to her evening job and left me making her cakes for school tomorrow. I caved to the cake monster. UGH!!! I nibbled lots of scraps etc.
I have a new little journal system that I am excited to try. I do not want to mess it up, and I hope that will motivate me to stop this ridiculous sugar eating.

Behold my new system.

I love markers and colors and writing; just old fashioned writing. It's the teacher in me. After decorating my little teacher planner all up I showed it to my hubby. He quickly informed me that they make all sorts of journals like this online, that will do this much easier for me. I know they do, and I might partake in them someday in my future. There is just something cathartic for me in physically writing and recording my progress. I like to hold my results in my hands and review them whenever I like without the need for my computer. I am recording my food on this journal. That is new for me, but I think in light of this recent loss of my mental dieting faculties, it is necessary. I am looking forward to being able to see the entire weeks progress on two open pages.

So tomorrow I have before me 7 blank days to fill however I choose. I hope I choose wisely and make good decisions. I am going to try! Tomorrow I will be back blogging from my lake house (ha) with my Tuesday update, which will not be any prettier than the end of April update.

HAPPY MAY DAY!!!

2011-05-01T23:41:00.001-05:00

Twenty- three years ago today, on a tiny mountain in South Carolina, my sweet man gave me a package of Peanut M&M's with the sparkler on my left hand in it. Five moves, two companies, one boy followed by four sisters bookended by two last boys, one Jack Russell, one fluffy alley cat, and one loud Lhasa Apso later, and I still love Peanut M&M's, tiny mountains with my man, and the sparker stuck on my left hand. Praising God today for my wonderful soul mate. He puts up with me through thick and thin (literally). Below is our engagement picture from May 1988.

What a week this has been. My heart has been heavy for all the victims of the terrible storms. We are under warnings for flooding in western Tennessee, and one of my friends was joking that she didn't have time to be a flood victim because she is planning her daughter's wedding. I could relate thinking about all the things in my life a flooded house would interrupt. Then it struck me that hundreds of peoples lives last week were suddenly changed FOREVER. They weren't expecting it; they had no idea tragedy was around their corner. Many people lost loved ones, homes, and are still hoping and praying to find missing loved ones. My heart and prayers are burdened for these poor people. I just cannot imagine their grief and pain.

This week I continued to struggle. It is weird how when I am on a good roll eating wise nothing can stop me, but when I do get derailed I cannot seem to get back on track. I have had a break from clean eating basically from the Friday before Easter through today. ENOUGH. NO MAS. I am starting to sink back into old habits where I am determined to eat correctly the following morning but never follow through with the plan the entire day. I am snacking on more sugary things and it is really showing in my fasting blood sugar numbers. I was just skimming The Amen Solution by Dr. Daniel G. Amen, M.D. today and caught a section that, in my understanding, said if you are glucose intolerant (ME), and your sugars are high it causes more cravings for sugary carbs. That produces an awful cycle. High sugar wants more sugar causing high sugar causing cravings wanting more sugar etc. That is so me, and I do not like this feeling of fighting constant cravings. So it is May, and tomorrow I am cutting out all sugary things. I am eating clean again....I am determined to nip this in the bud now before I gain all my weight back.

That brings me to the sad disappointing announcement that for the month of April I only lost 4 pounds. That leaves my total loss at minus 34 pounds. That is way short of my April dream goal of 13 pounds. Okay that goal was a little ridiculous, but the sad part is at one point before Easter weekend I was down 8 pounds. I really need to do better in May.

How did my other goals go? I did keep up on my daily Bible reading, started the Jennifer Rothschild study, but did not read Crazy Love yet. Obviously I did not eat clean all month. I did not get in 5 times of exercise each week, but got at least 4 in and added more strength training. I think I did blog at least twice a week and journal each day. Mainly though, I am discouraged with my actions this past week, and I am determined to turn this around.

Goals for May??? I hesitate to make them. What is the fine line between goals that motivate me and help and goals that are unreasonable and discouraging? I am gonna go simple this month. Simple and very reasonable so that I can accomplish my goals realistically.

SIMPLE MAY GOALS;

Eat clean. Can I take Mother's Day off? I don't know; I don't seem to get back on track well.
Journal daily. Blog at least twice a week.
Exercise at least 4 times a week.
Keep up on my daily Bible reading and study.
Lose 6 to 8 pounds. Of course I would like to lose more, but reasonable is my goal.

Tuesday Weekly Results (#12) and It's Not Pretty

2011-04-26T18:52:00.000-05:00

I just realized as I typed that heading, this was officially the twelfth week, and as I mentioned before, my longest run at faithful healthy eating in the last six years was roughly twelve weeks. I wish I could report that I breezed through it with flying colors, that I am down to minus 40 pounds, and that my loss for this month will be a record awesome number. Unfortunately, without even realizing it was week twelve, I succumbed to my old ways of unhealthy eating. What should have been one lovely Easter day of celebration and fun turned into five long days of overindulgence and overeating. It is always shocking to me how I can be booking right along at a great pace staying on plan and making right choices, and then suddenly I am five days into a streak of unhealthy eating and very poor choices. Yes, five days including today. I just finished off the last tiny piece of homemade coconut cream pie, even though I know it will make my blood sugar higher than I want it to be. Who am I, and where is that girl who passed up bazillions of treats the last three months?

I did have one thought today during a temptation I did manage to pass up. I said to myself, "I don't care." In other words, I don't care about the consequences, but I would rather have ______. To a degree, I meant it. At the moment I didn't care that my sugar would be up, and I might gain another pound or two. It was a lie I told to myself to do whatever I wanted though, because I do care. I don't care means that I don't care if diabetes leads to the amputation of both my legs from the knee down like my Grandma Thomas. I don't care means I don't mind if I can't see my grandchildren because of my diabetes like my Aunt Doris. After reading that you are probably thinking I am crazy with those genes to ever look at sugar, but I am adopted so I could throw out the gene argument. But I have seen the consequences up close, and I do care. I do want to keep my legs, and I do want to see my family until the day I die. I do care, and telling myself I don't is lying to myself.

So the results below are frankly awful. They are disappointing and sad. I feel like I let myself down, and anyone following my progress. This is my first week since February for a gain in my weight, and it is a big gain. Enough is enough. From this minute on I will try to regroup and stay on track. I had a break (which I should not have had), and now I need to start working on this journey again. I hope to do well enough the next four days to lose some of what I gained before my month end results. It will take everything in me to pull it off though, because it is so hard to reign back in my inner sugar monster. Hopefully, knowing I will be posting the end of April results on Sunday will help motivate me! Frankly me messing up is not shocking, and me giving up is not shocking. Shocking will be me picking myself back up, and continuing on until I reach my goal of losing 4o some more pounds from now. This time I am praying for shocking! I don't want to go back.

WEEK 12 SORRY RESULTS

Fasting Blood Sugar for 4/19/11 through 4/25/11
80
74
76
79
91 Sweet Cici's Frozen Yogart the night before
100 Baking with tasting the night before.
99 The day after Easter desserts.

Morning Blood Pressure for 4/19/11 through 4/25/11
98/57
87/50
85/47
83/57
90/57
97/56
85/56

Dreaded Scale Numbers for 4/20/11 through 4/26/11
-1
+0.5
-0
+1
+1.5
+2
-0
So I cannot really blame the scale this week. It was more like the dreaded me. My total GAIN this week was 4 pounds. I actually put on 3 pounds before Easter day. I put on another 2 on Easter, but only put on a total of 4 since I had lost 1 pound on the first day. So last week I lost 4 pounds, and this week I put back on 4 pounds. That brings my total loss back to minus 34 pounds. If I had not gone backwards I might have held my ground or even made it to 40 pounds. It is what it is however, and I need to do better this week!

Exercise for 4/19/11 through 2/25/11
2.0 miles at 33 min. on elliptical and lower body workout
3.0 miles at 46 min. on elliptical and upper body workout
2.0 miles at 30.10 min. on elliptical. So tired I stopped early.
3.2 miles at 46.39 min. on elliptical. TIRED and lower body workout.
Saturday I cleaned and baked for Easter.
Easter/ Rest
4.8 miles at 66 min. on elliptical and upper body workout.

One good thing from adding in more calories is my workouts are better. I have so much more energy. My calories were getting lower and lower the last couple of weeks, and I felt like I had no energy to workout. Yesterday and today my workouts were fantastic. We have had so many storms and rain, that it has been to wet to walk outside. I hope it drys up soon!

One last note. My blood sugar goes up immediately with any sugary dessert (as you can see up above). I just should not mess around. My health is not worth it. Bad weather is all around us, and I had better publish this post before our electricity goes out! So sorry about my rough week. I hope and pray to do better this week!

Very Short Sugar Detoxing Update

2011-04-25T14:04:00.000-05:00

Whew this is harder than I thought it would be. Opening those fridges and seeing all those yummy leftovers: pies, casseroles, pies, and casseroles, turning around and seeing that Easter candy still littering the kitchen table, and feeling the rumbly in my tummy is tough. It all makes for one whiny me. I don't know who you should pray for more: me or my poor family! I hear eight amens to that. The day is early; so far I am on track; hope I can make it until bedtime!

Dissecting the Danger Zone

2011-04-25T09:36:00.000-05:00

Me as Aunt Bee from Mayberry Street R.F.D.

I deserve it. That was what began my downfall this last holiday weekend. I deserve what? I deserve to start filling my body with sugar and junk. I deserve to eat till I feel sick and my head is spinning? I deserve to gain back a few of those pounds that took hard work and diligence to get rid of? I deserve to get bumps on my tongue and a sore throat because I cannot put down the chocolate? I deserve to go to bed defeated and sad? I deserve to eat because it is my right, even though I am not hungry, and realize the food doesn't even taste that good? I deserve to think about the food around me instead of the people I love. I deserve to abandon the way I know that is better and good because it is a holiday? A holiday celebrating sacrifice, obedience, and victory at that! Oh the irony of my thinking.

I know a better way now. After my weekend of indulgence my husband even said that all the unhealthy food did not even taste that good, and he likes our healthier eating better. He is so right. My husband, children, parents, friends, and Lord deserve me living the best life I can live. That living includes eating the healthiest I can eat all the time. I hope I learned a very big lesson this weekend. I just cannot handle a break. I really cannot handle sugar. It brings out the sugar monster in me; making it very hard for me to stop eating sweets. I hope some day I will be able to handle a little sugar, but I cannot right now.

In the middle of my danger zone yesterday I kept announcing that tomorrow I would jump back into my healthy eating. I think I was reminding myself, as I stuffed another chocolate into my mouth, and telling my husband in case I was scaring him to death. He said that yesterday wasn't scaring him, it was Monday that he was not looking forward to. He was again so right, and he knows me too well. MONDAY= DETOXING FROM SUGAR WEEKEND DAY. So I should have added to my "I Deserve List", I deserve to suffer in agony with headaches and mental stress while detoxing from sugar junk. I deserve to panic and cry over the number on the scale on Monday morning. I deserve to huff and puff as I try to walk up the hill.

Sugar and junk food is overrated. Living in a body that feels good and moves well is fantastic. Fitting into clothes that hang nicely and look good is exciting. Resting at night after a victorious day filled to the brim with fulfilling accomplishments is rewarding. Walking by the mirror and stealing a glance instead of ignoring my reflection is priceless. Catching my husband looking at my shrinking behind as I exit the room makes me feel like I'm 22 again and that....well that's way more fun than chocolate pie!

So think of me today as I get back on track. If you hear someone screaming it's me stepping on the scale. I have a feeling my Tuesday Results are not going to be pretty. Oh and that Aunt Bee picture above??? Well let's just say I didn't see any small girls dressed like that last October. Come to think of it I don't think I saw anybody but ME dressed like that back in 1970.

Easter in Pictures and Song

2011-04-24T23:23:00.000-05:00

Above was our Saturday EXTRAVEGANZA at our church. Over 55,000 eggs literally!

Above are the Easter morning table treats. Translated Mama didn't feel like dragging down baskets this year and cleaning up purple, pink and yellow grass until Christmas. I think he doesn't look like he is missing the grass/basket combo to much!

Above is lunch. The lamb Grandma brought was delicious, and yes I had all three of those desserts at some point today. My morning blood sugar numbers are gonna be scary...stay tuned! If I was getting a little too confident, this holiday smacked me right back down.

Family pictures above. Grandparents and all my children except my oldest. He was working and we missed him. My girlie in red went back to college to finish out her last two weeks after our festivities.

A little after dinner Blurt.

We finished out the day with some egg dying. It was a wonderful Easter full of blessings. I leave you with one of my favorite songs sung by Mandisa. It is perfect for this special day. May God bless you!

Journaling

2011-04-22T13:17:00.000-05:00

My weights and my ipod speaker pretty much live on my bathroom counter these days. I am trying to use some will power and not pick up my eight or ten pound weights (not pictured) yet. My plan is to stay with the lower weights at more repetitions for a while to avoid injury. I have disk issues in my neck, and every time I get over aggressive with the weight lifting my disks do not like it.

What do you use for journaling? I would love some input. I have tried several different journals in all price ranges. Above are the Body for Life and Weight Watcher journals I used in the past. I liked both of them, but ended up not completely finishing either because the magic is definitely not in type of journal. I used to search for the perfect book or journal to compel me to succeed. This time I seem to be progressing without any super journal.

This time I am using a simple notebook that probably cost ten cents at the back to school sales. No profound record taking really, but I do write down my health stats every morning and add my exercise later. The sticky notes are me being to lazy to transfer the exercise data yet. It actually has several years of failed attempts at dieting in it, which means it is about to run out. So this made me realize I need a plan. I may just stick with what is working and pull out another ten cent notebook. The nice thing about the notebook is there is an endless amount of space. If I decide to add more information or thoughts I can. I am toying with the idea of pulling out a lesson plan book.

The teacher in me loves my lesson plan book. This is also a cheap option at only three dollars and forty nine cents. It has lots of nice little planning boxes and headings. I am still trying to wrap my mind around how to work it out since it is really made for five days instead of seven. I think it might work though, and I think I may add in journaling my food daily.

I don't know; I keep going back and forth on this idea or just keeping it simple with the notebook that is already working. I would love to hear what you all are using!

On another note I am struggling this week. I am trying to figure out why. Today I woke up just tired of this process and wanting to do what I want to do: translated anything but exercising and eating healthy. I am trying to push through it. While analyzing it I did have one light bulb moment: I am nearing the end of three months on this try at healthy living. SCARY. Scary because over the last six years, three months is about my longest limit before I start wilting and going back to my old ways. NOT THIS TIME, NOT THIS TIME, NOT THIS TIME. Maybe if I add some heel clicking to that it will work. I so don't want to give up, loose all my progress, gain all the weight back, and be miserable. I need to push through this and keep going. Just two and a half more pounds and I will be half way. That is encouraging and overwhelming. I am praying that I get a second wind and keep on keeping on. Just do it me; just do it!

Attitude

2011-04-21T16:58:00.000-05:00

This picture pretty much sums up my lifetime issues with food. Multi-tasking to the max: barely managing to stand up on those chubby legs while eating at the same time. Stuffing my mouth would be a better description.

Attitude makes all the difference in everything (obviously), but when it smacks me in the face in a negative way it always surprises me. Today has been a rough day. I woke up with such a heavy heart. Depressed is another valid depiction. We found out earlier in the week our girls' school tuition will be higher this year, and that seemed like an impossible predicament. Of course I started praying immediately, but the thought of changing schools for my girls was getting the best of me by this morning. I woke up knowing the enrollment contract was due Friday and my heart was heavy. As I took my son to work early this morning we passed a horrific wreck just four minutes from my house. A six to eight car pile up, with one BMW crushed, and a woman laying very still face down on the road (people around her waiting for emergency help). That could have been me if we had left on time ten minutes earlier. I couldn't stop crying and thinking about those poor people and the woman and her family. The crying over almost anything continued to be a theme this day. Maybe part of it is my hormones?

Anyway, back to dieting and attitude. When I got home from that early car drive I knew it was time to hit the elliptical. I was so down however, I really just wanted to get back into bed. I was worried though that giving into resting would be a slippery slope, ending in my old habits of no exercise ever, so I told myself that if I got on the elliptical I would perk up and possibly end up with a fantastic workout. WRONG. I know sometimes exercise and those magical endorphins do help, but today my workout just got worse and worse. Finally I stepped off at only 30 minutes/2 miles.

After my failed exercise attempt, I got a call from my GYN nurse with my blood test results. There were some good and bad results, and I will update on this next week when I get the report in the mail, but my overall cholesterol was not as good as the Little Clinic quick test proclaimed. This news really added to my sadness. I had been so elated over that wonderfully wrong lower number. I will tell the whole story next week.

My attitude not only ruined my exercise, but you guessed it, my food was the next victim. Emotional eating will always be a battle for me. It is the little indulgences that lead to wild food abandonment if I keep it up, because as the Talk Show Queen always says, "It is never about the food." No, it is about me mentally thinking I needed a treat, and letting food be that treat. I had one piece of toast with cream cheese (with eggs at breakfast), spinach artichoke dip with wheat crackers and a carrot, half a granola bar, and two Hershey's kisses (at lunch). My calories were not too bad really, and it was not a binge. More of a calculated "what can I eat that is special" kind of thinking. That to me is a little scary though, because I was feeding the emotional sadness in my soul with finding some "special food." I do not want to give into that, because if I do my "special foods" will get bigger and bigger, mirroring my body no doubt.

So today scared me. How do I know it was emotionally driven? My sweet husband called me with really fantastic news. Our prayers are answered. God is providing the resources (again) for my children's education. Oh I am thankful for an amazing, very hard working husband, and a very faithful God. And my attitude? Almost like a curtain, my depression lifted.

I really hate to be that predictable, but the situation was so heavy on my heart. There are just going to be times like that. Many I am sure. Life is hard. I just need to get stronger at controlling my emotions, and not letting them control me. Anybody else have a hard time not letting their emotions derail their healthy eating/exercising plans? What do you do to get through the pain/sadness/emotional void ? I am hoping and praying to turn today around and step away from the indulgence foods! It is only 4:55, so hopefully I will make it through the long evening!

Week 11 Results

2011-04-19T17:30:00.000-05:00

Spring is here and my azaleas are bursting just in time for Easter. I thought these veggies below looked springish too. They are so yummy and healthy, just roasted in the oven with some olive oil and sea salt. My children actually ask for them. We had them with grilled chicken when the grandparents were here.

WEEK 11 RESULTS

Fasting Blood Sugar for 4/12/11 through 4/18/11
73
81
74
74
74 At this point I am starting to wonder if my machine is broken.
74
88 Was it the apple at dinner time? Well my machine is working just fine!

Morning Blood Pressure for 4/12/11 through 4/18/11
101/55
98/64
100/67
97/50
90/55
104/65 Less than six hours of sleep.
82/41

Dreaded Scale Numbers for 4/13/11 through 4/19/11
-0
-0.5
-0.5
-0
-0.5
-0.5
-2
So minus 4 pounds this week bringing my total loss to 38 pounds. I did have a bigger jump this morning on the scale because I fasted on Monday for some blood tests I was having done this morning. I hope the scale does not go back up. It might. I hate it when that happens. I am trying to eat lightly today to keep it where it is.

Exercise for 4/12/11 through 4/18/11
Upper body workout and 2.1 miles on the elliptical at 30.54 minutes
CLEANED (for company coming)..does that count? :)
Lower body workout and 3.0 miles at 46 minutes on the elliptical.
3.0 miles on the elliptical..forgot to write time down (probably 46 minutes)
Saturday was a crazy day so a big no on the exercise.
Sunday rest day.
Upper body workout and 3.5 miles at 46 minutes on the elliptical.

Monday, after my two days off, I was ready to hit the elliptical and it was my best time yet. I tried the interval training where I did several normal minutes interspersed with a minute or two of going super fast. It was a really great workout. Unfortunately todays workout was a lot slower due to my lack of calories yesterday.

My collage girl is coming home this weekend. I am looking forward to a nice Easter with my family. I am off to watch a track meet!

Weekend Fun Again

2011-04-18T14:27:00.000-05:00

No big dieting or eating revelations. I just wanted to post a few pictures from the weekend. Tomorrow is my update day, and I will share my weekly results then. We had a great visit with my parents who are now safely home in Bear country.

Macie doesn't care that my mom already has two Yorkies. She insists on taking over Grandma's lap.

My parents came to see my two girls in the high school play. My seventh grader above was thrilled to be a cheerleader, and my tenth grader below enjoyed several roles.

A few more play pictures below.

Sisters.

My six year old had to be part of the party.

More sister pictures. My Junior daughter and her thespian sisters.

Friday evening we attended the Prodigal. Below are both sets of our parents partying it up afterward.

Saturday my fifth grader competed in our State Bible Drill and won State Winner Superior. We were so proud of him.

After the early morning Bible Drill Competition we froze to death on the baseball fields. It was too cold to even think about snapping a picture. I ran home to make snack trays for a Harry Potter movie party my daughter was hostessing, and then back to the final high school play that evening. Needless to say, my plans to exercise never materialized. Sunday I rested from my busy week, and today I am back to my regular routine.

Shockingly Great News

2011-04-16T16:40:00.000-05:00

Yesterday morning I ran into Kroger for a skinny minute and walked out over 45 minutes later. That's not really that unusual, except this time I did not spend a penny. That is a record. Anyway, on my way in the door I saw a sign saying The Little Clinic inside was offering free Cholesterol screenings. I have been wondering what my cholesterol numbers were doing since last October 2010 when the nurse at my gynecologist's office had called me with bad news. She had informed me that my total cholesterol number was 278.
She was ready, pen in hand, to send off my cholesterol lowering medication prescription to my favorite pharmacy.

This was all confirmed (in case I thought that phone call was a bad dream) by the paper work above showing me the blood work results. Circled just in case I missed it or something. I told the nurse that I really wanted to try to lose some weight first before trying medication. She told me to report back to her lab in three months. Of course ~~I started right away on revamping my eating habits~~ right after that October call I entered the holiday season, and I didn't do anything different except put on ten more pounds. I do not know why that number did not shake me into reality, but I just figured I could always start tomorrow. Frankly, I really did not know if diet alone would move that number anyway.

So I was a little excited and nervous while I waited in the Kroger clinic. I started to review everything I ate yesterday....2 eggs, a turkey with cheese sandwhich (picnic with the visiting grandparents), almonds, and an apple with organic peanut butter. It seemed like a lot of fat and cholesterol. I was really hoping my number had possibly moved down from 278 (39 points above borderline high) into the borderline area of 200-239. The nurse came out with my results and ominously pointed at them with her pen. Pointing can't be good right? So I took the paper cautiously and started jumping...literally hopping up and down. I nearly hugged the nurse, and told her she had made my day. MY SHOCKINGLY GOOD RESULTS: TOTAL CHOLESTEROL 184!!!!!!! 184!!!! 184!!!!
Really a 94 point drop and way below 200. I was praising the Lord and just shocked.

My scale is moving slower than I want it too, and I am Miss Impatient, but there are so many rewards on this healthy journey besides the scale going down!!

The Grandparents from Bear Country Arrived

2011-04-13T20:59:00.000-05:00

The Grandparents arrived. We met them at my 13 year olds track meet, and then whisked them away to the house.

The GONDOLAS arrived. They brought their friends the special chips with them.

The cookie monsters rejoiced that the chocolate chip cookies arrived.

Another close-up so you can get a better sniff.

I had this. Awesome.

All I can say is if that scale doesn't reward me tomorrow, there may be all the above on my breakfast plate.

Week 10 Results

2011-04-12T21:57:00.000-05:00

This is lunch today. I love Costco's frozen salmon burgers. Really yummy, lots of protein, and they grill quickly straight from the bag. I also love these tasty little muffin bites that my hubby brought home from Costco. At 130 calories a muffin, and 7 grams of sugar I can't eat more than one a day (if that). They taste like dessert (I love anything with oats. I cannot even think about keeping granola in the house.), and that makes them dangerous. Since I have been fantasizing about sitting on the couch with the whole box in my lap, I will probably ban these from the house in the future.

While I am on a Costco roll, I also really like this brown rice and quinoa mixture. It cooks in 90 seconds in the microwave. It is also high in carbs, so I don't eat it often. However, since my soul mate is 6'3" he needs more calories/carbs than me, and it is easy to whip up for him.

I actually bought some brown rice and red quinoa to see if I can replicate it myself. Speaking of replicating, tonights dinner was a copycat of that delicious dish I had at The Tomato Head. It turned out really good.

This week is going to be crazy busy. I am going to have to hang up my Mazy hat and put on my Martha one. My parents arrive tomorrow and leave Saturday. Before they get here I need to whip up 5 pie crusts, make 2 cherry pies, get their guest suite and bathroom cleaned, and transform the entire kitchen and rest of the house to make it look like nine people do not live here. How I am going to work all that in with three favorite tv shows on tonight will be a miracle. Priorities I know. I can only work on one addiction at a time; tv will have to wait in line.
Anyway, back to the crazy busy week. We will all be attending the girls play, the church passion production, my 11 year olds State Bible Drill competition, 2 boys baseball games, and a visit to the new super-de-duper park. I do not know if I will find a minute to do some escape blogging or not.
Oh and one more thing before I post my results. All the children are anxiously awaiting the arrival of the grandparents from Illinois because they are bringing the famous GONDOLA. Actually they will bring many many many GONDOLAS, and they will not last twenty-four hours. They will be stuffed in baggies and hidden in the nooks and crannies of the fridges in hopes of safe guarding individual leftovers. After reading the nutrition on my beloved GONDOLA, I hope I will stay strong and not indulge. The calories are a little daunting at 643 calories for half of one, but the carbs got me at 83. Oh the price to pay for that fiberless (okay it does have 1 gram) dense loaf of white sweetness. Along with the sandwiches Grandma will bring Kitchen Cooked Potato Chips. Of course these should not pass my lips either, but oh the memories they bring. Many a teenage night I sat on the stairs in my bathrobe, eating straight out of the Kitchen Cooked bag, while talking to my mom. They are the best, and they aren't sold in my neck of the woods. The cookies and the brownies that Grandma brings will not be a problem, but I am really going to have to work up some determination for the gondola and chips.

WEEK 10 RESULTS

Fasting Blood Sugar for 4/5/11 through 4/11/11
77
70
75
78
92 Sick the night before????
79
73

Morning Blood Pressure for 4/5/11 through 4/11/11
102/62
94/56
100/58
98/65
82/48 Sick the night before????
101/68
88/60

Dreaded Scale Numbers for 4/6/11 through 4/12/11
-1
-0
-0.5
No scale at motel.
No scale at motel.
-0.5
-0
So a loss of minus 2 pounds for this week. That is a total loss of 34 pounds since January 1, 2011. I would have liked 3 or 4 a lot better of course. I am just so ready to get all this weight off, that I hope the scale does not slow down every week.

Exercise for 4/5/11 through 4/11/11
Upper body workout and 3.1 miles at 46 minutes on the elliptical
Lower body workout and 3.1 miles at 46 minutes on the elliptical.
3.2 miles at 46 minutes on the elliptical.
Friday was my traveling day, and I was too sick to workout.
Hotel: 2,5 miles at 35 minutes on the elliptical and upper body workout.
Sunday traveling home day and workout rest.
Lower body workout and 2.8 miles at 40 minutes on the elliptical.

It was a good week. Now I need to get busy for the arrival of these fun people!

WONDERFUL WEEKEND

2011-04-11T19:52:00.000-05:00

Oh I had the best weekend, which was affirmed by my husband renaming me LAZY MAZY. I personally think Mazy is sorta cute. Come to think of it, I was nicknamed bird legs in high school. Anyway, I drove six gloriously quiet hours, with only the sound of This American Life podcasts entertaining my mind, to spend some quality time with this pretty girlie.

We started Friday afternoon out with a fun dinner at the Tomato Head. It was a warm spring evening and there was lots of people, dogs, children, and live music happening at the Market Square. A great place to visit if you are ever in Knoxville, TN. I loved the Tomato Head. Lots of healthy options. I got a cup of black beans with brown rice, and the Tuscan Chicken without the bread. Basically free farmed chicken, monterey jack, pesto, and sun dried tomato. It was really good, and would have been better if my stomach had not been killing me. KILLING ME. I know who eats when their stomach hurts? It was the weirdest thing though, it didn't feel sick, but it literally hurt. So I thought maybe a little food would help since I had only had 1/4 cup of almonds, carrots, and water during the car ride.

There's the carrots, bags of measured almonds, and lemon water I packed.

The delicious Tomato Head dinner. I am going to buy some pesto and sun dried tomatoes!

My daughter had a rehearsal Friday evening. I had planned to check out the exercise equipment at the motel, but due to the stomach pains I checked out the bed and cable instead. I was seriously worried the weekend was ruined, but I woke up Saturday morning one hundred percent better and headed downstairs to work out while sleeping beauty slept.
We headed to our brunch. It was really lovely and a lot of fun. Below are a few snapshots of our mother daughter brunch. The complex was so pretty, and I tried to get a few pictures afterward.

I was so excited to wear my new size 12 gray pants, but really I still do not look very good in pictures. I still have a long ways to go. After the brunch we changed clothes, packed up some of her winter items for me to transport home, and ate an early dinner at Moe's. We both got chicken, rice, beans etc. in a bowl. I was good and skipped the chips and salsa.

Obviously my stomach was feeling better! After this we headed to the evening avent; the 99th year of Carnicus. A competition with skits and music. It was good and long. I thought I would be smart and turn off my flash, but to my sorrow it made none of the pictures of my dancing girl turn out. They were all blurry. I did however get a shot of the program. Woohoo.

We ended our weekend together in worship Sunday morning at her awesome church, and lunch at her fav place: O'Charleys. I forgot to take a picture of my meal, so I snapped the photo off the display. It was really good, and those luscious buttery rolls did not touch my lips.

I loaded up my car with her boxes, drove home with my podcasts playing, and gave out lots of hugs and kisses after my gps told me I had arrived at my destination. All in all it was a fantastic weekend, the scale rewarded me with a half a pound loss this morning, and I am becoming attached to Mazy...it has a nice ring.

BMI Milestone

2011-04-07T18:04:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, April 6th I reached my first big BMI milestone. I made it out of obesity and into overweight. I have been watching those numbers go down though, and it was nice to leave the 30 zone. Now just five more numbers (29 down through 25), 29 more pounds, and I will be in the regular zone.
My clothes are fitting better, but I think I am losing my mind. Sometimes I see myself and I think I am starting to get there; it doesn't matter what part: double chin, arms, tire around the middle, upper legs, lower legs, rolls down the back, puffyless wrists, or even those wedding rings that do not come off yet. I check all these parts and more regularly. And I wonder why I can't get anything done. Just when I think I see some changes, I get another glimpse and think I don't look any different. 33 pounds gone....how can I not look way different? I tell you my mind must be going. I can't trust it. I can trust the scale and my clothes. They are both going down. Hopefully after another 29 pounds, and life in the regular BMI category, I will see an even greater change. I will say getting back to old and lower weights is like seeing old friends again. Hello blank weight; I remember you and when we did this and that together. I remember what we wore, who we saw, and what we did. The new lower numbers have me pulling out older clothes, fitting nicely into some, and encouragingly closer into others.
Tomorrow I will go to visit this sweet girlie at her collage. I cannot tell you how proud of her I am. She just earned an RA position to add to all her other Freshman accomplishments (honor roll, secretary of student government, Chi Omega girl, just elected to a student government senate seat, mission trip volunteer over her spring break, reader of books to children etc). I know I sound like one proud mama, but she reads my blog and I want to give a big shout out to her: I love you and I am so thankful for you!! You are such a delight and joy just being you; all the other great things you do are just added bonuses.

She is on the right in the red dress. I cannot wait to hang out with her. Pray for my husband. He'll be left behind with six children and various schedules. Things like two baseball games, one Bible Drill competition, two play practices, two working children with schedules, one act exam, one track meet, one track practice, one baseball game he is coaching, and I know I left out something. I don't think a lot of home cooking will go on between all those events for sure! He'll need a vacation when I get back.
Hopefully this weekend away will not mess up my healthy eating! I am blaming it on my mind that's going at a fast rate if it does. Sometimes when I get away it's like I think calories don't count. You know, what happens on vacation stays on vacation . Only, unfortunately,those calories surprise me with a ride back on my hips instead of staying where I thought I left them.
So hoping for a good report next Tuesday in spite of this mini vacation. Everyone have a fantastic weekend!

Week 9 Results

2011-04-05T21:11:00.000-05:00

We had some pretty big storms in our area yesterday. In fact, over 20,000 people were still out of power this morning. My girls got a free day from school today due to no electricity. However afternoon track continued, and the lights came back on in time for a five hour play rehearsal this evening.

The major winds did a number around our place. The canopies were ripped off the play set. The garbage house lost a wall. The winds carried that full big red can from our house, down the street, and into a neighbors yard. Leaving garbage all along the way.

Our play set canopies flew everywhere, and one flew over 2 acres away.

Our poor roof received the worst of it, and I don't even want to talk about the shocking repair estimate. But we are all fine, and that is the most important part!

WEEK 9 RESULTS

Fasting Blood Sugar for 3/29/11 through 4/4/11
83
85
85
76
71
76
75

Morning Blood Pressure for 3/2911 through 4/411
104/65
105/68
100/51
103/59
101/66
97/53
97/46

Dreaded Scale Numbers for 3/30/11 through 4/5/11
-0.5
-0.5
-1 1/2
-1 1/2
-0
-0.5
-0
So that is minus 4 1/2 pounds this week. I think one reason I lost a little more, and my blood sugar numbers were lower, was that I tried low carb clean eating. With my insulin resistance issues I may need to experiment with this more. My calories were also lower, which backfired on me by Monday's workout. I just had no energy, so I did add back in more calories and a few more healthy carbs.

Exercise for 3/29/11 through 4/4/11
No time on Tuesday; it was a crazy busy day.
Upper body workout and 3.1 miles at 46 minutes on the elliptical.
3.1 miles at 46 minutes on the elliptical. Just too cold outside to walk.
Lower body workout and 3.1 miles at 46 minutes on the elliptical.
Upper body workout and 2.5 miles at 41 minutes on the elliptical. Just too tired/low calories?
Sunday rested.
Lower body workout and 2.6 miles at 41 minutes on the elliptical. Too tired again/adding more calories.

Overall it was a good week, but I learned a lesson (I hope) about not eating enough to work out. It is hard to know how to balance it all sometimes. The wonderful weatherman also promises warmer,actually way warmer, weather starting tomorrow. 82 degrees by Friday!! I am looking forward to walking outside some, and feeling the sunshine on my face. I enjoyed a slightly chilly track meet for my daughter this afternoon.

There they are above warming up and walking toward the starting line. Below is my daughter the runner. She did not get that gene from her mama! Go Anna!!!

SPRING...LET IT SPRING UP

2011-04-03T10:37:00.000-05:00

I am home loving on two little boys with runny noses this morning. I was going through my verse cards that my sweet Chicago girlfriend sent me, and this one just jumped out at me.

I confess I was reading through my cards a little quickly, and I misread this verse as "now it is spring; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." I quickly realized what I had done and reread the verse as it should be, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a NEW thing in you. Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43: 18-19
But I felt the the Lord teaching me that IT IS SPRING. The winter is over; it is behind me. I have made it through the dreary winter, am living in the budding spring, and looking forward to the warm summer. I don't need to keep looking back because there is so much hope in today. He is making new ways and giving me new streams every day.
It is SPRING and HE IS SPRINGING UP INSIDE ME. He is doing a NEW THING IN ME. Today I get the awesome privilege and gift of seeing Him provide and work in me. I am excited and pumped. How can I not do my part today when He is so freely willing to give me so much. Thank you Jesus for your faithfulness. "Your love, oh Lord, reaches to the Heavens, Your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, Your justice like the great deep." Psalms 36:5-6

APRIL FIRST AND THIS IS NO JOKE

2011-04-01T20:01:00.000-05:00

30, thirty, treinta, trente, trenta, tretti pounds gone....FOREVER (I pray). Today I made it to the minus 30 pounds mark. I also added up my loss from the month of March and it totals minus 12 pounds. I am excited, focusing on the positive, and trying not to be discouraged by the big picture. The big picture being that I need to do this again plus some. I still need to lose at least 40 more pounds. Whew. I hate to say that out loud. However, Just three short months ago I needed to lose at least 70 pounds and now that number is significantly lower. Lord willing, in another three months maybe I will be down to my last ten pounds! I have hope; this can happen! By my birthday in August I really hope to be close to my goal weight. This is only going to happen if I keep setting goals and pushing myself to meet them. So I guess I had better get to goal setting!

NO FOOLING AROUND APRIL GOALS
1. Keep up with my daily reading in my chronological Bible, and add this study by Jennifer Rothschild. I have done two of her Bible studies, and they were wonderful.

A bonus that I would like to read is Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I have heard really good things about this book and I am excited to read it.

2. Eat Low Carb Clean. I know, low carb and clean do not seem like they should co-exist. I am already eating lean proteins like chicken and fish, and I am not eating refined sugar. I am finding my blood sugar levels are better if I do not add much fruit or whole grains. Even a dinner apple can put my fasting blood sugar in the 90s. I will try to stick to berries with maybe an occasional apple, and try to avoid those yummy dates calling my name.

3. Exercise at least 5 days a week. I will try to do at least 5 days of cardio at 30 minutes or more, and I am adding strength training 4 times a week. Two days of upper body, and two days of lower body.

4. Journal my numbers and exercise daily, and blog at least twice a week. I will be out of town two mornings this month, and I will not have a scale those two mornings.

5. Lose 13 pounds. This is a shorter month; I am traveling one weekend, and hostessing an Easter dinner. 13 may be a stretch, but I will try my best!

I could add in things I need to straighten, and other projects I dream of getting to, but this is a short and busy month. I am going to see my oldest baby girl at college next weekend for some mama daughter time, returning home to host my parents coming to see two of my daughters in their high school play, attending track meets of two daughters, watching two of my boys play baseball, supporting my hubby while he carries banners in the Prodigal, and hostessing an Easter dinner. I know I forgot something; such is the business of spring. Those other projects may have to wait until summer! I also find when I am working so hard to get fit and lose weight it takes a lot of time, and some of those other projects have to wait. Please pray that I can keep up the momentum to reach these goals and end April in victory!!!

Week 8 Results

2011-03-30T19:42:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was so hectic, I just had no time to report my results. In fact an interesting thing happened. I had so many errands to run, people to transport, and things to attend like track meets that I just did not have time to eat. I really believed that. That is an amazing transformation. What really happened was I did not have time to get back home and eat a nice clean meal. I did not even think about picking up some fast food. Just last December, during the Christmas shopping rush, I used every errand running opportunity to drive through Chick-fil-A. In fact, I planned errands around lunch, looking forward to that chicken sandwich, waffle fries dipped in honey mustard sauce, and sweet tea. Hopefully I am forming new habits, because I did not even consider stopping by for even a grilled chicken salad.

WEEK 8 RESULTS

Fasting Blood Sugar for 3/22/11 through 3/28/11

82
86
75
91
77
78
96

Morning Blood Pressure for 3/22/11 through 3/28/11

96/60
99/54
107/72 Less sleep???
102/57
98/59
97/65
100/59

Dreaded Scale Numbers for 3/23/11 through 3/29/11

-0
-1
-1
+0.5
-0
-0
-1
So minus 2 1/2 pounds this week. That brings my total to minus 27 1/2 pounds since January 1, 2011. Friday will be April first, so I will post a total loss for the month of March on Friday. I would love to lose another pound or two by then, but I never know what that unpredictable scale is going to do.

Exercise for 3/22/11 through 3/28/11

elliptical 60 minutes 4.3 miles
walked outside for 53 minutes and 12 seconds 4 miles
elliptical 34 minutes 2.1 miles
elliptical 34 minutes 2.4 miles
elliptical 46 minutes 3.3 miles
Sunday nap and rest day! Love it and look forward to it!
elliptical 46 minutes 3.2 miles lower body exercises/weights
It has gotten cold like winter again, and I am looking forward to nicer weather to walk outside some again.
I am sore from adding the weight training on Monday. I plan to be more diligent about the weight/exercise training in April.

It is a busy but good week. I hope to blog again by the end of the week with goals for April. I leave you with a sweet picture of my youngest and Lila the guard kitty. The fun cousins have gone home, and all is right with the world with the two bunking back in the bed together again!

Lila Guard Kitty

2011-03-25T16:12:00.000-05:00

It was so sweet I had to post it. Every night Lila sleeps with my little man. In fact I wrote about it here. My little man gladly gave up his bed the last three nights so his visiting cousin could sleep in it. In fact, he insisted on having a practice night the day before his cousin came, so he slept on the floor four nights. (Some battles with six year olds are just not worth arguing about!) Anyway I thought it was the sweetest thing that Lila joined him on the floor each evening. She didn't stay on her usual spot on the bed, but snuggled right next to the little guy. Oh a boy and his cat, huh? (Please excuse the toy boxes everywhere....the cousins had a big time playing!)

Lunch today was Costco's yummy frozen salmon burgers grilled with grilled asparagus and carrot sticks. My hubby also had a bowl of avocado salad. I had mine minus the whole wheat bun. I am doing pretty well not eating most things. I made pancakes, muffins, and bought other goodies for the boys and their two visiting cousins. None of it was too tempting. Although I did let myself eat a leftover grilled hamburger patty yesterday. I had not had beef since at least January. I ate the beef patty for lunch, and I was really sick all evening. I tried not to be very far from the bathroom if you know what I mean. Having eaten beef all my life, I had no idea it would do that to me. I do not think I will try eating beef for a while. Anyway, I made it through all the regular temptations of cookies and junk, but my hubby's sister dropped this off along with the boys on Tuesday.

Lately I have been doing well when it comes to enticing food, but I knew this gigantic bakery loaf of deliciousness was just out of my temptation conquering league. I have a weakness for cinnamon bread covered in white sugary sweetness. I stared at this, sniffed it, and admired its shininess through that cellophane. By Wednesday morning I knew I had met my temptation match, so thinking quickly I sent it off with my girlie to the high school office. I knew that yummy baby wouldn't survive the day in the teachers' lounge. I felt good about the regift, and even better that I didn't have to hear that bread calling my name one more second.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Easter

2011-03-23T19:32:00.000-05:00

Last week was spring break and I finally finished de-snowmanifying the house, organized some areas, and released the spring decor. With the sunshine and gorgeous weather we are having, it is nice having a little spring on the inside. I wish I could do some inside flowers; tulips are my favorite this time of year, but Lila the bad kitty eats anything green we display in the house and later throws it back up....so no fresh flowers sadly.

Lila the bad kitty; we love you even if you do eat our plants.

Below is my pantry. This will probably stay organized for a skinny minute since I have lots of helpers getting things in and out of here. I have to throw in a couple cupboards too....exciting blogging going on here! But you know they do say when you start getting your weight issues under control it spills over into getting other areas under control.

Please do not judge me on my contents. There are a lot of people eating here that would plot a mutiny if I strictly enforced my new clean eating on everyone. Baby steps!

My snowman dishes are gone from the cupboard and shelves until next winter. It is always refreshing to get out the lighter weight dishes.

Now it was time to eat on those plates. We had salmon salad and carrots.

I had a great walk/ little jog today outside. I started out slow and figured it was going to be a tough day for exercise. Something happened, maybe the gorgeous weather inspired me or those endorphins kicked in, but I ended up doing 4 miles in 53.12 minutes. I did not start my strength training yet....maybe tomorrow.

Week 7 Results

2011-03-22T21:41:00.000-05:00

Breakfast this morning was oatmeal with berries. I was a little skeptical about oatmeal sans melted brown sugar, but the berries were very sweet and made it delicious. This has been a good week. I was a little discouraged with the scale. I really increased my exercise, and decreased my food intake on a few days, and still the scale did not want to move enough for my liking. I am still eating very clean though, so I am going to trust the process and hope the scale will move a little quicker again one of these weeks.
One other strange thing is happening; the more weight I lose, the fatter I get. I guess that means that I am finally starting to face reality. Yes, my clothes are looser, and I am fitting into some things I have not worn in a long time, but wearing shirts that do not drape on me and are not covered up with a sweater or jacket shows me I have a long way to go. I am actually not discouraged by this, but excited to see the fat rolls roll off. There is hope in knowing the shirt I have on today will look even better in a month or two. Finally all the clothes staring at me in the closet are inspiring instead of incriminating.

WEEK 7 RESULTS

Fasting Blood Sugar

3-15 93
3-16 94
3-17 96
3-18 80
3-19 91
3-20 81
3-21 94
I am really not happy with my blood sugar numbers this week. I tried a lower carb clean eating day yesterday for an experiment, and my blood sugar was 82 this morning. I would like to see the 80s more consistently. I am hoping that when I get to a normal weight in a few months I will be less insulin resistant.

Morning Blood Pressure

3-15 102/67
3-16 97/58
3-17 98/64
3-18 78/51
3-19 89/56
3-20 90/58
3-21 109/66

Dreaded Scale Numbers

3-16 -1
3-17 -1.5
3-18 -0
3-19 +0.5
3-20 +0.5
3-21 -0
3-22 -0.5
So I ended the week with -2 pounds. I started out losing, and I guess I was hoping that trend was going to continue all week to end in a little bigger number than 2. That makes -25 since January1,2011. 23 of those pounds are from the last 7 weeks.

Exercise

3-15 elliptical 41 min. 2.7 miles
3-16 outside walking/ a little jogging for 43:43 min. 3.2 miles
3-17 walked/ a little jogging outside for 32:40 min 2.4 miles
3-18 just house cleaning...does that count? :)
3-19 elliptical 46 min. 3.2 miles
3-20 rested
3-21 elliptical 46 min. 3.3 miles
Right now I am reading the book below. Tosca Reno is an advocate of clean eating, aerobic exercise, and weight lifting. This week I hope to start adding in weight lifting/strength training. I need to try to sculpt a lot of this flabbiness as my weight decreases. I am enjoying her book.

My personal review on Zija.

I will not be buying any more Zija. It is supposed to be made from the moringa plant and be very nutritious. I did not notice any improvements from drinking the powder every morning or the tea every other evening. I did not like the xm3 capsules at all. They have several ingredients including caffeine. I really reacted negatively to the capsule. It made me feel jittery and made my heart rate higher. In fact, I woke up after a very restless night with a resting heart rate of 95. That scared me. You are supposed to take one capsule a day, and I only tried them two days. I will not be taking the other five capsules. I researched caffeine, and for me it is not a healthy option. Since I have been caffeine free since at least February 1, 2011 I probably was very sensitive to the caffeine. I do not like a line of products promoting good health that includes a capsule with caffeine. I am going to stick to my clean eating plan and skip the Zija.