I barely made it tonight. It was a close call sort of. Let me back up to this morning. I sent my girls off to school with home made healthy hot egg mac muffin sandwiches and lunches packed with pretty napkins. My favorite thing about packing school lunches is surprising the eaters with seasonal fun napkins.
Anyway, the morning was going well, and after writing a quick blog my juicer helpers and I juiced away. I ended up not using the melon in the picture below.
Everyone was eating and it all smelled so good. I began waffling internally and externally about how I could eat tonight and get back to juicing in the morning. My family is very supportive, and really cheers me on whether I want to eat or not. With absolutely no pressure from them, the decision making was all mine. It was really hard. I talked myself into and out of eating the regular spread of food a million times. I made it all the way through dinner, and was about to give in at the END of dinner....plate in hand...when my sweet hubby said," If you want to go back to the computer, I'll clean up dinner." MUSIC TO MY EARS. He had very patiently listened to me struggle, and offered to help me escape the clean up temptation. My way of escape handed to me in the package of NO clean up was a sure sign. I got out of there fast...in case the offer disappeared.
It was really hard tonight, but right now I'm so glad I didn't give in. I had some red flags that made me think twice.
Emotional: I just wanted what I wanted even if it wrecked my long term plan.
Lying to myself: I told myself I could eat tonight and get back to my plan in the morning.
Unhealthy: What I was desiring was not a healthy fresh salad, but lots of very fattening and sugary foods. (Special birthday requested food like taco dip, chips, steak, tator tots, green bean casserole, jello salad desserts etc.)
My rational self did a good job reasoning with my unreasonable self, and my sensitive hubby saved the day when I almost gave in. There was a very big part of me that knew if I gave in tonight I wasn't touching that juicer tomorrow. I wasn't really wanting to just eat a few healthy things with my family. When I was waffling about what to do, I really wanted to eat the poorest choices and lots of them. That was another sign that I knew meant it wasn't time to stop my plan.
Tonight made me wonder if I can make it another 12 days juicing. I may not be able to. I may reach a point where it might not be the healthier choice to continue. I want to listen to my body and do the healthy thing over the perfection perfect plan thing even if it kills me option. If I stop however, I want it to be with a plan including healthy, clean foods. That wasn't my motive tonight, so it wasn't time to quit the plan.
So I survived rebooting day four barely, and I am hoping day five is easier.
All that said I feel very pitiful about ever complaining when I read about the struggles Lucy and her family are going through. She is a beautiful six year old girl struggling with cancer, and her mom is so burdened with the heartbreaking journey of Lucy and missing her two other children and family at home. I leave you their blog link in case you would like to join me in praying for them. http://erikandkatekrull.blogspot.com/