Everything's Bouquet

Saturday, February 20, 2010

I Didn't Picture it Going That Way or Breakdown of a Meltdown

I am not sure where it all began or exactly how to dissect it.  I do know that way back in the 80's we used to call overeating a "pig out", and now in our kinder gentler denial sort of generation the pig out is now the new meltdown.  Back to the dissection of healthy eating gone wrong.  I think maybe it might have begun yesterday morning on the dreaded scale.  I told myself NOT to step on it; I had already had my 16 ounces of water and everybody knows you don't step on the scale with clothes on or before beverage intake.  I ignored the loud voice in my head telling it I had worked hard all week and it was  time to face the scale.  Up, yes up 2 pounds.  I tried to ignore the drama in my head but I am afraid it may have set the tone for the whole day.  I managed to eat well and exercise 1 hour.  It was later in the day, after running errands with my three youngest children for three hours that I began to get discouraged.  My sweet hubby that I missed all week was flying back into town....only I had pictured it happening late afternoon and it turned out to be a late night flight.  Then my older girlies, the same ones the night before had said they were free on Friday evening (a very rare thing for my teens), now all had big plans.  I had pictured us all enjoying a girls night out with Aidan in tow at a fun Mexican restaurant.  Instead after dropping my two above Aidan at sleepovers it ended up just me, Aidan, and frozen pizza at home.  All of these not bad things, but just not the way I had seen it in my head as Hitch said.  So the drama in my spoiled head reached a peak and being the very emotional eater that I am, my spoiled head told me I needed some homemade warm chocolate pudding to soothe my soul.  I made a small yummy smelling straight from scratch batch on the stove.  God even sent me a lifeline distraction...my sweet Abby called to ask could her group of 7 or so friends hang here at the house.  I had to throw the pot in the fridge, sweep, straighten, throw together a chip and salsa tray and a batch of brownies.  I was proud of my quick hostessing skills and left the group to their own while I retired back in my bedroom.  Retired back in my bedroom that is with my dessert bowl of now not so hot but slightly cooled homemade chocolate pudding topped with a little whip.  A long time ago I  bought some cute glass dessert bowls that hold only about a cup...for obvious reasons...the ice cream in the cereal bowls was getting out of control!  Well, I am Houdini with that dessert cup....filling it magically with a towering amount of slippery pudding topped with whip and not losing a drop.  It would be safer if I'd just use the cereal bowl.  I notice the other day that my 10 year old Peter has my gift of dessert bowl stuffing when I saw his towering half a container of ice cream stacked in his tiny dessert cup.

Anywho, after my chocolate pudding meltdown, I had a horrible headache.  I guess it is a good sign that I am eating healthy enough that sugar gives me a headache.  My wonderful hubby arrived home, the party people left happily, my big kiddos, hubby, and I enjoyed some late night nibbling, kitchen cleaning, olympic watching, and visiting.  All was well with the world, and minus the headache that is probably how I would have pictured the evening ending if I had pictured past the pudding blocking my view.  So I don't know what my calorie totals were for Friday.  I long for the day where my emotional dramas do not effect my eating.  Maybe when life doesn't go like the movie in my head, I need to figure some coping skills that are not food based.  I need a diet Hitch to keep me going with some inspiring quotes and snappy advice!