Everything's Bouquet

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Tuesday Weekly Results (#12) and It's Not Pretty

I just realized as I typed that heading, this was officially the twelfth week, and as I mentioned before, my longest run at faithful healthy eating in the last six years was roughly twelve weeks.  I wish I could report that I breezed through it with flying colors, that I am down to minus 40 pounds, and that my loss for this month will be a record awesome number.  Unfortunately, without even realizing it was week twelve, I succumbed to my old ways of unhealthy eating.  What should have been one lovely Easter day of celebration and fun turned into five long days of overindulgence and overeating.  It is always shocking to me how I can be booking right along at a great pace staying on plan and making right choices, and then suddenly I am five days into a streak of unhealthy eating and very poor choices.  Yes, five days including today.  I just finished off the last tiny piece of homemade coconut cream pie, even though I know it will make my blood sugar higher than I want it to be.  Who am I, and where is that girl who passed up bazillions of treats the last three months?

I did have one thought today during a temptation I did manage to pass up.  I said to myself, "I don't care."  In other words, I don't care about the consequences, but I would rather have ______.   To a degree, I meant it.  At the moment I didn't care that my sugar would be up, and I might gain another pound or two.  It was a lie I told to myself to do whatever I wanted though, because I do care.  I don't care means that I don't care if diabetes leads to the amputation of both my legs from the knee down like my Grandma Thomas.  I don't care means I don't mind if I can't see my grandchildren because of my diabetes like my Aunt Doris.  After reading that you are probably thinking I am crazy with those genes to ever look at sugar, but I am adopted so I could throw out the gene argument.  But I have seen the consequences up close, and I do care.  I do want to keep my legs, and I do want to see my family until the day I die.  I do care, and telling myself I don't is lying to myself.

So the results below are frankly awful. They are disappointing and sad.  I feel like I let myself down, and anyone following my progress.  This is my first week since February for a gain in my weight, and it is a big gain.  Enough is enough.  From this minute on I will try to regroup and stay on track.  I had a break (which I should not have had), and now I need to start working on this journey again.  I hope to do well enough the next four days to lose some of what I gained before my month end results.  It will take everything in me to pull it off though, because it is so hard to reign back in my inner sugar monster.  Hopefully, knowing I will be posting the end of April results on Sunday will help motivate me!  Frankly me messing up is not shocking, and me giving up is not shocking.  Shocking will be me picking myself back up, and continuing on until I reach my goal of losing 4o some more pounds from now.  This time I am praying for shocking!  I don't want to go back.


Fasting Blood Sugar for 4/19/11 through 4/25/11
91 Sweet Cici's Frozen Yogart the night before
100  Baking with tasting the night before.
99  The day after Easter desserts.

Morning Blood Pressure for 4/19/11 through 4/25/11

Dreaded Scale Numbers for 4/20/11 through 4/26/11
So I cannot really blame the scale this week.  It was more like the dreaded me. My total GAIN this week was 4 pounds.  I actually put on 3 pounds before Easter day.  I put on another 2 on Easter, but only put on a total of 4 since I had lost 1 pound on the first day.  So last week I lost 4 pounds, and this week I put back on 4 pounds.  That brings my total loss back to minus 34 pounds.  If I had not gone backwards I might have held my ground or even made it to 40 pounds.  It is what it is however, and I need to do better this week!

Exercise for 4/19/11 through 2/25/11
2.0 miles at 33 min. on elliptical and lower body workout
3.0 miles at 46 min. on elliptical and upper body workout
2.0 miles at 30.10 min. on elliptical.  So tired I stopped early.
3.2 miles at 46.39 min. on elliptical. TIRED and lower body workout.
Saturday I cleaned and baked for Easter.
Easter/ Rest
4.8 miles at 66 min. on elliptical and upper body workout.

One good thing from adding in more calories is my workouts are better.  I have so much more energy.  My calories were getting lower and lower the last couple of weeks, and I felt like I had no energy to workout.  Yesterday and today my workouts were fantastic.  We have had so many storms and rain, that it has been to wet to walk outside.  I hope it drys up soon!

One last note.  My blood sugar goes up immediately with any sugary dessert (as you can see up above).  I just should not mess around. My health is not worth it.  Bad weather is all around us, and I had better publish this post before our electricity goes out!  So sorry about my rough week.  I hope and pray to do better this week!


Diane Fit to the Finish said...

I know this wasn't a stellar week for you, but it sounds like you are still committed and still in the learning process. Honestly, I'm still learning about myself and food - even after all these years. I know this week will be more successful for you!

BrendaKaye said...

Thank you Diane; your comment is very encouraging, and your blog post today was very motivating too! I so want this to be the year for me to win this victory in this area!