Everything's Bouquet

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Fellow Blogger's Inspiration

After our two baseball games this morning, I found myself wandering around Costco thinking about two questions I read on blogs this week.  The first question at The Diet Naked Blog was "Can you diet successfully without being obsessed with your diet?"  I just keep thinking about my answer, and decided to write my open response here.

I'd like to think that I can diet and lose weight without making it my entire focus, but just two days ago my husband said it seemed like I worked out all the time.  I thought about that, and I really am not working out more than 60 to 90 minutes 4 to 6 times a week.  Why does it seem like it's all the time to my family?  Really why does it seem like it's all the time to me?  Could it be that I put on my workout clothes, talk about my workout coming, finally workout, talk about the workout I did, and discuss for several minutes hours how I need to get a shower because of my workout.  It's a big focus; A BIG FOCUS.  And the food end of the diet deal is an even bigger focus.  I talk about the breakfast smoothie. I experiment with the smoothie. I blog about the smoothie. I read books on healthy eating. I tell my family about the latest and greatest things I just read about healthy eating ideas, and then of course I talk about them here.  I plan, cut, wash, grill, chop, and prepare in new and exciting ways healthy foods.  And of course forbid it that I every get off track and off plan because then everyone around me suffers with my explanations, excuses, and depression.

So NO, I cannot seem to eat healthy, exercise, and lose weight without making it a major focus.  MAJOR.  Part of me hates that I have to put so much time, energy and focus into the healthy battle, but then really I wouldn't be here needing to do this if I could handle food without the extreme focus.  I need to face the facts that I am an emotional eater, and I am seriously addicted to sugar.  Those are two serious facts that I have spent a lot of my life joking about and sweeping under the rug.  I spent the last several years telling myself it wasn't really that important, but I was lying to myself.  My borderline diabetic state and cholesterol numbers show that.  (Update on my Cholesterol...the rest of the story... later this week.)  I am emotionally and physically addicted to food, and for me it takes an incredible amount of focus to fight my way out of those addictions.  I hope for the day that a healthy lifestyle is just the norm and I do not need to devote so much thought, time, and energy toward it, but to get to that day, right now requires a lot of attention.

This is a battle. It is a worthy and important battle.  I can't spend my time wishing it wasn't my battle, or regretting "letting myself go" until I collided with this situation.  It is what it is.  Now I am climbing out of my pit of self-destruction, and that takes a lot of everything: planning, time, focus, failure, trying again, prayer, sweat, tears, and work.  While I am climbing up and out I am learning so much every step of the journey.  I cannot hurry it, but I need that total focus during it to stay strong, learn, and continue.  So my final answer to her question is Nope.  I am obsessed with this dieting thing, but I am trying to tone down my outward obsessed self.  I don't want to arrive at the top of the pit and find out I drove everyone crazy around me.

The other question I encountered was at Shrinking Sisters.  One of the sisters is frustrated because she is doing everything right and still the scale is not moving downward.  Oh the dreaded scale. I can relate to this one! I don't really have a clue for this but it sure has me thinking.  It just doesn't seem like all that scientific factual calories in and out stuff always comes through completely.  We, me included, are always happy to imagine that there are some people who just seem to be able to eat extra and never gain weight.  It doesn't bother me if their numbers don't work out.  It does become a nightmare when those same numbers don't work correctly for those of us cutting our calories and increasing our exercise.  The older I get, the fewer calories I need and the more calories I have to cut to lose weight.  I also cannot seem to cheat at all or my weight rebounds quickly.  At this age sometimes I think I need a few less calories than what the scientists say I do.  It does all seem like a mystery when my body finally decides to give up those pounds.  Well partly a mystery because one thing is for sure: if I eat an entire cheesecake I will pack on the pounds!

I enjoy reading you fellow bloggers out there in blogger land!  Thanks for making me laugh and think!  I leave you with my handsome hubby coaching my youngest son's tball team, and three of my daughters heading out for dinner.

He made it: first base!  Below a little sister love minus one working sister.


skinnyhollie said...

I, too, have to be totally obsessed with my diet to be successful. If I don't concentrate on it every minute of the day, I fail. And that sucks! Sometimes I get so sick and tired of having to try so hard every minute of the day. I hope that one day it will truly become a lifestyle and maybe I will get used to it.

Cute kids!

BrendaKaye said...

I completely agree Hollie! It is a lot of work now, but maybe someday it will be easier!